Friday, May 30, 2014

End-Of-School-Year Mum: C-

Last year I wrote about being the Worstest End Of Year Mum ever. This year I've gone Off The Grid.  I actually didn't know it was the end of the school year.


I did make it to the Open House though. Cy, 10, and his adorable rock-climbing teacher.
A the Open House: Cy's idea for a restaurant, The Drunk'in Elephant 
Menu.

This morning I asked Jackson, 14, when school was ending.
"Today" he said. 
"Oh gosh" I said airily "I guess I better plan something for the 10 weeks you little rug rats are off"
Gagaga-Arrrghag! Shiiiiiii...

The reason I don't know anything is because many months ago, in order to relieve the stress, I started deleting all the emails that came from the kids' three schools. (Don't try this at home.) One school has a system that allows parents to "Reply To All." Some emails will garnish 20 very impassioned replies. I have never once in three years joined in, though I've been tempted to do a cat-amongst-the-pigeons Bridget Jones and suggest I'll bring the vodka to any given school event and ask "who's going to bring the orange juice?" (For parents of course, whatdidyouthink?)

Cy has given up on me. 
"Mom what am I going to bring to Heritage Day lunch today?" The good Kiwi mother would have made a pavlova with kiwi fruit, a lamb dish, date scones. 
We popped into the store at the end of our road. It has British candy which is similar to Kiwi candy.
"Mom" Cy pleaded "it's supposed to be proper food!!!

This week I understand Harley,16, has had exams.  He's been disguising his tension really well - most afternoons he's out playing basketball with friends, of an evenings you can find him out to dinner with friends. Watching TV in between all that. The other morning before an exam I wished him well.
"Can't talk Mama, I'm off to the Egg Shoppe with (list of girls from his Psychology class)." Brave kid. Sniff.

You'd think I'd know everything because my workstation is right there in the kitchen, but instead all I've learned is to block stuff out. 

"Harley" I warned him this afternoon "when you go off to College, I'm going to convert your bedroom into an office."
"Don't blame you Mama" said Harley "I'd do the same." No wonder he's progressing so nicely in his Psych class.

You're probably wondering why I've given myself a C- instead of an F.  Did you miss the bit about taking Cy for Kiwi candy at 7.30am this morning?



43 comments:

  1. Frankly, I give you an A. Brava!

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  2. Love the Drunk'in Elephant. What do you say to the teacher about that?! Something tells me your kids will be well adjusted, fully functioning, good humored young adults.

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    1. She has a great sense of humour. Another kid in the class also wanted to do a report on Adam Sandler as one of the most important people in the world (Cy's first choice) so Cy did his on a local basketball player. I think she'd read it all...

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  3. "This week, I understand that Harley ... has exams."
    Priceless!

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    1. A suspicious tan and burger wrappers tell the story

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  4. I think you're coping wonderfully! If you'd made that Pavlova, all those other mothers would have felt worse about their meager contributions, so you were actually enhancing your son's popularity by underachieving. So when he finally opens his Drunkin Elephant, he'll have plenty of friends to order Monday Morning Beer and Cheese Tacos.

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    1. Beryl, that is totally what I think. I don't want to make others feel badly about themselves ...in that way I am helping the esteem of the whole community

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  5. I love that you are that way with your 4 kids. It makes me feel better, because I'm right there with you...I'd love some vodka at the next school event.

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  6. Tell Cy I'll be a regular at his Drunk'in Elephant...however I would like an intro to the rock-climber. School teachers are right in the GSL wheelhouse.

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    1. Haha! Have not heard the expression wheelhouse before?? Just googled with no luck. The rock-climbing adorable teacher is so awesome, she is actually one of those people who sleep hanging from the side of a rocky mountain cliff face (there is a Mr Rock Climber though...)

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  7. Haha! I'm so pleased to hear that you're not one of those perfect mums!
    I too delete almost all school emails, and consequently am regarded by most of the dedicated parents as slack. In fact over the past week we have failed to go to a school fund-raising trivia night, a performance of Greece and forgot to fill in a permission slip for Dom to go to an archaeology thing. Luckily the teacher emailed us so he could go.
    Love the Drunnk'in Elephant! Pure genius!

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    1. We have got the call for the field trip slip too! yes I was actually called Slacker Mum by one other parent, which I did not mind at all. Sets the standard for what people expect from me...

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  8. All the big important stuff is sorted .... you love them, they love you, you all have adventures, ......the world needs good kind people...job done there ALWx

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    1. Thanks Libby, that is the voice of one whose kids have grown and got jobs and still want to be around their mum so that means a lot to me!

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  9. I just commented and it's vanished!!
    I'd love to get the reply email from you offering to bring vodka, it would make all the school emails and letters more bearable!

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  10. Cy needs to meet my now 19-year-old Forrest, who once infamously, in grade 3, wrote an epic store called "Return to Moosehead Island" that involved a man trapped on an isolated island, and all was saved when some moosehead beer was mysteriously parachuted in.....

    C- it is. Over the years I have gotten a lot of comments for not being as wrapped up in my kid's marks as other parents. It is my experience that in the end, it is their life and if they do poorly (see Forrest above) there is always an opportunity to learn a lesson and fix it. I was always more concerned with values. Oh - Forrest is looking for work. Perhaps a server at the Drunkin Elephant, where he can get big tips from one GSL, who probably has parachuted beer in at some point in his life..

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    1. 19 year old Forrest has got the makings of someone who could be working at Pixar down the road. I wonder if they could also parachute Clarins onto Moosehead Island (and some books) and I'd be happy.

      Good luck to Forrest on his job search, he is an ideas man and will do well I am positive

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  11. I think you are doing fabulously. I love the concept of the restaurant Drunk'in Elephant.
    Don't worry my sister can beat you...one of her three received a prestigious Maths Engineering entry to start Uni when still at high school, fees paid and a laptop to boot...they were in the crowd on Awards night for another child who was in the school band ...they had no idea....even though the school had sent communication...whenever I need a laugh I think about how incredulous she was when she told me what had happened... Lol. They had to send him up on the stage in a crumpled pair of chinos. Xx

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    1. That is so so funny - she was just sitting there watching the other child!!! That's a corker! Wonder where the communication went? If that was me I would have made a grocery list on the back of it...

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    2. FF - am loving that fascinator line-up competition you were in on your blog, what a great idea!

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  12. I also give you an A! Think of the independence you are fostering your children, you are brilliant. I find with my own rascals the less I have interfered the better they do. When our son was younger I hassled him for his grades, went to parent-teacher interviews, tried to organize extra projects for him, finally at 15 he blew up and threatened to quit school and go live in his friend John's basement... I never saw a report card after that and never asked him about school, which is why we were very surprised when he told us at the end of grade 12 that he was going to University of Toronto to study physics.
    Honestly I think more kids need to be left alone and they will do awesome, there is no replacement for self-motivation!
    Have a great weekend Jody.xo!

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    1. Thank Dani, I am def at that stage with one of my kids - let them go. Another equally wise friend gave me the same advice as you. lead a horse to water and all that. Wow physics! I can't even spell that!
      I won't tell my kids about John's basement, too tempting an option I'd say.

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  13. The Drunk'in Elephant is beyond fab. The end of school requirements are ridiculous. I'm never where I'm supposed to be it seems. I'd happily swap flasks with you at the concerts!

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    1. Here's cheers Jen. Certainly will make those concerts just whizz by...

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    2. Jen, I'm going to miss you over the summer but have a lovely bloggy break!

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  14. You deleted the school e-mails?I can not decide to give you an F or an A for that one!!!Linda was making home made pasta for that HERITAGE DAY!!Do you think those kids noticed it was home made??I doubt it!You were better off zipping around with me in my green FIAT 500!!!!

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    1. LC, Linda is my gold standard, maybe next time she can make double portions and i can pretend I am Italian too

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  15. I am seriously impressed with your progress! And the fact that you have kids at 3 different schools is enough to give you an A!

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    1. ...or just poor organisation.(I always thought parents who had kids at more than one or two schools were bonkers)

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  16. Over ten tvs all playing sports!!!!
    I read the small print.
    Sx

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    1. You've got good peepers Ms Scarlet. I know, Beer and tv, nirvana? (some someone)

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  17. sweetie, you have the got the balance just right.
    However, in the terribly politically aware circles that we in London have to suffer-, Cy's " drunk elephant " poster would have prompted a visit from social services along with free membership to AA( Alcoholics anonymous- not Automobile Association.
    So just as well you lie low.
    Much love (please add, I don't remember how) Rina, London

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    1. Lying low, sweets, as we speak. I will deny everything

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  18. My eldest is doing his Bac in a couple of weeks. He is, at this minute, out mucking about with his mates, and has been doing so for most of the weekend. But he assures me he has no intention of failing his Bac. I'm counting my blessings...

    One school concert many moons ago, I went along with a friend armed with wine in water bottles and peanuts. It was an outside event of little kiddies doing excruciatingly boring things. Her son (4) amused himself by throwing peanuts into the crowd while we got dirty looks from (jealous) parents who guessed the boozy truth. Made the time pass a lot more quickly. :)

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    1. And how the hours just fly by with juice of the grape

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  19. Well, I think you deserve an A just for being able to keep up or at least try to keep up with all of them, haha!! Bless. I hope you have a great week :) xx

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  20. Oh I just love reading your blog posts - those wonderful throwaway lines about exams, drunk'in elephants... You on do make me laugh.
    We also have exams this week which you would be hard pressed to realise. Last night my son was doing a quiz on the internet, trying to list the 100 top courses people do at university... ?!

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    1. How funny, I'm sure that quiz will come in handy in some way we can't quite think of right now...(but then I've always lacked imagination..)

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  21. Another great post! Your kids crack me up! My girls will be starting middle school and high school in the fall and I've decided to let them make more school decisions for themselves! I live on the SF peninsula and the school pressure is pretty intense as I'm sure it is in your area as well. I look forward to more fun posts about your summer.

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    1. I've heard it's even more intense down on the peninsula! My friend who's married to an entrepenerd (her expressions) tells me some stories.

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