Sh*t My Kids Say

More sweary stuff...We were rudely awoken by Cy at 4am on Sunday morning who mistakenly thought it was get-up time. We heard him head into everyone elses' room looking for his soccer shorts. Cy must have received a whack from some unappreciative sibling because he suddenly howled: "What the F*%K is wrong with you?!!"

The cast of "characters" in our kitchen

Cy has the mouth of a Real Housewife who's denied her grand entrance at Villa Blanca, I mumbled to my husband who was silent. No suggestion of "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" - he's far too wise for that.

When it's finally proper getting-up time, Tallulah, 11, starts her throat clearing, which is her latest "thing." She was horrified by a girl who had a croaky speaking voice, which inspired the Ahhhaghmmm's. (Apparently these "things" can continue to age 15) Cy's latest thing is that he goes to the toilet every ten minutes. So throat clear, toilet flush, throat clear, toilet flush.

If Cy swears like shite, Harley is the ultimate shit stirrer.  Just as I'm coming into the room he'll say: "You guys I won't hear a word against Mom, and have you noticed how fantastic she look these days? Like she's only 40! Oh shhh... here she is now!"

Most nights Harley tucks Cy into bed which we've always thought was quite heart-warming until one evening we listened in. Harley whispered in Cy's ear: "Sleep well tonight little boy, for tomorrow I'm going to kill you." This was obviously a firm tradition -  Cy chuckled and immediately fell into to a deep and peaceful sleep.

This weekend Teddy, our little puppy, started barking at one of his stuffed bears and we didn't know why until I distractedly turned the bear over. We averted our eyes as Teddy started vigorously humping his formerly platonic pal. "Oh look how he snuggles with him afterwards, though" one of the kids said.

After all the soccer nonsense, we had Bakesale Betty fried chicken sandwiches for Saturday lunch. Betty is an Australian who wear a blue wig and her store, which has no sign, sells only chicken sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies and has 30 people lining up out the door every day to early arvo. People eat outside on old ironing boards.

Tallulah and Kevin waiting at Bakesale Betty's

All the food groups represented here

Our kids - who despite all our East Bay-ish efforts - are the champions of the White Food Movement exclaimed: "Finally! A decent lunch." I looked at the fried stuff accompanied by cookies and donuts from Dolly's -  the ones with the "naughty cream" - and there was no denying all the food groups were there.

Tallulah got her first pair of Converse high tops this weekend. "When you have a great pair of shoes on, it feels like you can do anything" she said. Oh that apple didn't fall far from the tree...

Tallulah with her new high tops

On Saturday night Harley went out for dinner with another family with four kids. "They are just like us" he told me "But much happier." Three of our kids agreed that after living in our family they will never have children. Except Cy. "I'm going to have four kids" he says "Kids are awesome."