Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Finding a Bathing Suit

This afternoon we're off to Rarotonga, which is part of the Cook Islands, three hours from New Zealand (don't tell the kids how far it is). I know, so excited. It's supposed to be the real island experience. At night, you just wander into someone's backyard for dinner. What a good idea.


This is what you get to look like when you swim in the everlasting pool



Imagine me somewhere here eating in someone's backyard.




We don't have sea views but thought you'd like see this anyway

Well I turned 53 and looked for a bathing suit - or togs as the Kiwis call them - on the same day. Not to be recommended. What with the cumulative slippage those years bring, the whole thing's a bloody bugger.  I need all the pulleys and levers of a Victoria Secret bra and something downunder to hide the high-acres. After many hours screaming "Why! Why! Why me?" in changing rooms around the Bay Area, a friend said just go to Canyon Beachwear in San Francisco, which I did and I tried on pretty much every swimsuit in the shop.


Bikinis are out for me - It's a health and safety issue at this stage - though many, many of my friends in the US still wear them - and I say good on you!

The lady said tankinis are the least flattering of swimwear - all that additional material creates a larger waist, not a smaller one -  but still the most popular because comfy. Cover-ups are also tricky - I don't like them too low or too short. Realised what I was looking for was a burka made by Trina Turk. I love the floaty ones, but they look TMM - too much material - on me. These were the finalists for the swimsuits.



And the cover-ups - none of which have much hanger - or draped on the bed - appeal. The green and the white went to Tallulah - they didn't suit me.



I picked the stretch cover-up pants and the blue ziggy dressy thing. I know:  buying three swimsuits is excessive but now I am set until the end of my days. Saving money all the time, that's me. Justification Hotline? Yes, it's me here, Jody.


I couldn't pull these off, but some of you could.



These are the pills and unguents I take everywhere, starting on the Camino last year. The Skinceuticals face screen is so thin you think it can't possibly work, but it does block. The Flora and Magnesium has been a miracle find for someone who suffers from bloating. Mitoq skin cream is made in NZ and you can only get it over the internet. I'm incredibly sceptical about creams but this one seems to actually smoothed out the old epidermis a bit.


I am meeting my parents in Rarotonga and I'm taking just two kids as carry-on. I'm taking these tried and true books and they are bringing me some. I never knew about Hilary Mantel - how was that possible - until I saw her on GSL's blog. (Thanks for introducing me - she is one of the best writers I ever read!) Girl On A Train is up-all-night good. A great premise - a young woman travels on the commuter train into London - where you can see into people's backyard and one day spots something very disturbing. Bristol House, a monk spooky-possums mystery is a must for anglophiles. Stephen King's On Writing is great even if you don't aspire to write the next Girl On A Train or whatever. Steve is very scathing about writing courses and basically says sit down on your arse and write - which he has done all-day everyday even when he was a cocaine addict and he had to stuff toilet paper up his nose to stop the blood dripping onto his typewriter. Heck.


Books I'm taking Mum and Dad
I'm also taking Mum the latest Vanity Fair, which features our favourite - Robin Wright. Everything about this woman is angular and square, her nose, her jaw, her hair, her shoulders. And yet she still looks so soft and pretty somehow. The interview reveals very little about her - she says she has too much respect for Sean Penn (what is the appeal with that guy?) to talk about their break-up. (What?? - that's why I bought the magazine.) She even comes across as a bit washy washy and then... Then she says about her new fiance, Ben: "Perhaps its not ladylike (to say) but I've never laughed more,  read more or come more than with Ben." Gosh.




The other two kids are going on college tours. The hubstar is taking the eldest around some colleges in Indiana. Unfortunately the state just passed a law which basically allows businesses to discriminate against gay people - can you believe that? Indiana -ians - please rise up and squash this!

Just in the nick of time, my brother-in-law send some hats for them to wear. They're from his sports team that plays in the Denver Gay and Lesbian Flag Football League. I look goofy in hats, but these are pretty nifty don't you think?

The official hats for the Denver Gay and Lesbian Flag Football League


See you later alligator. Until we meet again in someone's backyard for some roasted pork and hibiscus cocktails.


36 comments:

  1. I used to sell swimwear, so am very familiar with what works on whom. And tankinis are absolutely the worst invention ever. They ride up exposing all your flabby bits around the midriff, plus the extra fabric adds bulk as your SA said. You just have to embrace the one piece. Look at the Australian ones! We make the best swimwear in the world! It is true! Seafolly, Jets by Jessica Allen, Tigerlilly, Isola, and Camilla Swim all have excellent one pieces that give support, boost where needed and hide other things. Plus they have the most amazing prints and do good matching coverups. Every time I've bought swimwear from an overseas brand, no matter how much it's raved about in fashion magazines, it fails me.
    The books look excellent. I love Hillary Mantel's Wolf Hall series, didn't much like the short stories (assassination of Margaret Thatcher), but I think that's because I don't generally love short stories by anyone.
    Have a wonderful holiday, looks very idyllic and enjoy all the swanning around poolside with the books. xx

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    1. I have to say though, for those of use with no waists and smaller hips, they can work. And if you get the long ones, and don't jump into deep pools of water, they stay put :-)

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  2. Hi Heidi - yes, you know its funny - they don't sell the Aussie suits here. One of mine be Seafolly Im going to have a look and I'll google all those brands. Prints are key for me - as are cover-ups they divert the eye.
    Quite honestly if you go tog searching here - you end up thinking - bugger it - Im going to set up a business making them myself.
    I always too wondered if that really expensive brand Eres is worth looking at?

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    1. Jody she is right Seafolly is very good. Wondered about Eres too... Still $600?? I would love to start a swimwear business and have thought of it many times!!

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    2. Yes, I don't know why people don't copy the wiring and padding of VS and add something that covers the butt - also has to have pattern to keep eye roving!

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    3. Jody ....there is also BodenUSA (online) with lovely patterned suits and coverups.

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    4. You could try ozresort.com.au as they have all the brands I've mentioned (except for Camilla Swim). And they'll ship internationally and do it in US currency. Or try the online websites of all those brands in Australia as they'll usually do direct ship too. I haven't tried Eros, so can't comment, but generally I'd be suspicious if it's $600. A good one piece shouldn't cost more than $300 (and that's for something like Camilla Swim which has amazing prints, a bit of swarovski bling on it and lots of levers and pulleys as you put it).
      Don't try miracle suit. The miracle on that one (I bought it post baby thinking it would suck me in a bit more) is that it goes see through when wet. Very practical….

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  3. Jody! I love your adventurous spirit. If you showed up in our backyard with your family I would definitely make you dinner. College tours, aargh the time flies, why does it do that. Bathing suits... I think Heidi is on to something and we should go get them in Aus. I have always wanted to go there so makes sense really.
    I wondered about that Girl on the Train book so thank you. Travel safe Darling and have fun!!! xo

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  4. Jody, Have fun in Rarotonga! Always wanted to go. Last time we were in Fiji everyone was headed there. Will be waiting to hear all about it. I just spent yesterday afternoon looking at swimsuits online. How dumb is that? Of course they won't fit. I always go to Nordstrom because they have a good return policy and Canyon Beach does not. Also Trina Turk has some gorgeous suits. I have a one-piece strapless, but it's not good for running about. I like tankinis, but you are right a good one is hard to find and maillots can make your tummy look big. Sigh. I won't do bikinis... Too much exposed at my age.

    I have a friend who has a daughter just graduating from a college in Indiana. I asked her how this school was. She was the only California left she knew after 4 years. She said she felt she was constantly getting moralized by the other kids about women's right to choose and more. That surprised me. I would have thought Indiana wasn't like that, but now with this law, I see it may be true. I don't think my kids would dig it there. UC Santa Cruz is where my son wants to go, but now it's so tough we may go the jr college route, as a 3.9 GPA doesn't cut it anymore in our insane world.

    We have to get together when you return. Have a blast!! xo Kim

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    1. Kim - lets get together for field trip when Spring break over

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  5. I know! Re Canyon - They will only take cover-ups.so you have to be very sure.
    That is so disappointing to find out about Indiana. You would think an area that has so many colleges would be liberal

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  6. That sounds like a fun spot indeed. Not sure I'd want all kinds of travelers trampling through my yard and demanding food though lol

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    1. There would be toast and marmite if they fronted at my house

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  7. Get thee to Rarotonga, and read those books so mumble and papa can bring them home. Just seen them off in the car, Poppi (dog) and I now resting after being so helpful with the packing. We will soon attempt to put a dent into the food supplies mum has left... enjoy! PS make sure it is actually a home serving food when you wander into someone's backyard for dindins, and not just overly polite locals who find five extra people happily sitting at the table and scoffing their way through their meal....

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  8. Hilarious, but oh please, you're a knockout. I do know what you mean (being the same age) about swimwear buying. Ugh. Gutted to hear that tankinis' are the worst because I swear I look better in them, having no waist whatsoever anyway. *weeps*

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  9. The green blue waters and lagoons are enough incentives to lay aside the interesting books.
    Because of your kind comments I will try to read Hilary Mantel.
    Our son and his bride enjoyed their honeymoon in Cook islands.
    Beautiful room.

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  10. So glad and unsurprissed you love Dame Hilary. Indiana is already in rapid retreat over the anti-gay stuff. As healthy and fab you're looking in that pic I think you could sell that Skinceutical et al snake oil to a cobra!
    Don't fret the swimsuit, you'd look great in a spud sack...as long as it's blue!
    I anxiously await family pics with Pietra and Poppi having already softened up mumble and papa for your arrival...I'll keep an eye on the Roratonga police blotter with the Den Rapid Response Team at the ready.
    Have fun and don't forget the pics!

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    1. Actually we did have ocassion to call the police, I asked Cy to fetch some purified water from the police station (which has a tap outside) and which was just next to the hotel. Cy blasted into town to the main police station and was back 90 mins later

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  11. The Indiana thing is infuriating. Good on you for sporting that hat. You do make me laugh with your swim suit adventures. I'm on a diet now as I've been so terrible with the poutine this ski season. It's all very grim.

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  12. Oh how wonderful your trip will be ........have fun and enjoy your folks being there.x

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  13. Hello Jody,

    Well, we do not 'do' water either in or out of a swimsuit. So, we are absolutely in awe of your intrepid spirit when it comes to braving the waves in a swimsuit. The thought of all those hours in changing rooms squashing into and out of the bikinis, tankinis and one-pieces makes us feel positively ill, so we do admire your staying power and know that you will look fantastic in the blue swimwear you have chosen.

    As for your island retreat, well, it looks like Paradise on earth. Will you want to leave, we wonder? And, wandering into someone's garden for dinner sounds positively blissful......unless someone wanders into ours, that is, when possibly all that would be on offer is a sandwich at best! Enjoy a lovely time!

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    1. Hello Hattats, am just crazy about your new blog post about buying a groceries, an antique dresser-sideboard - and then a home! online.

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  14. I didn't even know what a tankini was... Shows how long it's been since I bought a swimsuit!

    Have fun in NZ, and happy belated birthday! :)

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  15. From the snow to the beach you do lead an interesting life.
    I like tankinis.

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  16. WELCOME DARLING TO the 50's..............I am a wee bit a head of YOU!I doNOT have GOOD NEWS!!!!Enjoy the islands and your kids..............sip a cocktail and think of ME PLEASE!!!!!
    Gosh you do get around!!!!!!!!!!LOVE IT!

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  17. Bathing suits scare the daylights out of me right now so I guess I better hop back to the gym! Have so much fun on your trip, it looks amazing!! Let's plan lunch when you get back...we've only been talking about it for a year!
    And really, so much respect for Sean Penn...I would have wanted to read the juicy stuff too.

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  18. wow what a fab trip..... re-Robin, I think saying nothing about what was obviously a tricky break up (he recently referred to her as the mother of his children....) is her way of being dignified..... her reference to new, younger beau....her revenge!!!

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  19. hi darling!!!!! It's me.. Dakota. Are u passing by auckland??? I would love to meet u. I'm going to California next month too!! IF you have time to grab a coffee and have a laugh in akl I would adore meeting you. Please email me at: dakota@dakotadeller.com or my phone number here is 021 361 5763 oxoxoxoxxo

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    1. Hi there Dakota! We just went thru airport only - but wld love to see u when yr in CA - will email u!

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    2. Just clicked into your website - what beautiful jewelry you are doing!

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  20. Wow!! These photos are amazing! I can't wait to follow along on this adventure. As you know, I'm glad you've caught up to my age of 53. Bikinis are out for me too, but with the right angle you can still have a photo in an infiniti edged pool in a gorgeous one piece. I'd like to see you try it in that pool--glamourpuss!! Your selections look fab and I'm all about the caftan. Enjoy every minute of your getaway and congrats to Robin on all the 'fun' with Ben. ;)
    Bon Voyage bday girl!
    xx, Heather

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  21. Wow, have fun! You and the trip look amazing!

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  22. Yes I agree the basic message from King was just bloody write!

    Ben who?
    I can't imagine one could say anything more hurtful to Sean. Too much respect? I should cocoa:)

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