Friday, February 18, 2011

The Skinny Minnie Mouse Diet

I have lost weight. Unintentionally and accidentally. Not sure how much, but my jeans are loose. Bizarrely this does not fill me with glee. I would spatch all those LBs back on if I could just get rid of the cause.


You see we have mice. Just two. (So far) And the thought of them squeaking around with their nasty little whiskers and their horrible little tails (oops might have borrowed that one from Queenie in Blackadder) makes me feel so queasy I can't eat at home. I can't go near the pantry. Or cook anything. My husband has lost weight too because I have thrown out all the dry goods (carbs) in the pantry. Everything - even the cereal - is now in the fridge. But we know those crafty little creatures are in my kitchen wall...and always on my mind...

Where are you?
I've heard numerous times that they are more afraid of me than I am of them. But seriously - they are not afraid of me!  Otherwise they would have left. And somehow they are still here after two weeks of different kinds of traps and boarding up even the teeniest hole. I can handle snakes and any kind of bugs or spiders but not mice. Eeek!

But wait: could this be the ultimate brilliant idea for a Fat Farm? The one that launches me into scrillionaire-dom. Yesterday my sister in New Zealand broke the news that my lotto ticket was not the winner. Again? Come on! I'm not a millionaire - again? So looks like I'm going to have to do it for myself. What about a "resort" island where your bungalow is infested with your worst fears. How much do you think I could charge for that?

Last Monday Tallulah walked into the pantry to see two of the little buggers. All the kids screamed and I wouldn't come down from the bedroom. Jackson obviously inherited my terrible fear, because when his phone in his back pocket vibrated he thought it was a mouse and leaped, ran and screamed! He implored me: "Please don't tell the blog about the mice, people will think we're disgusting."

Maybe I could take my mind off the mice by going out to lunch. What shall I wear? I decided to build two outfits around the jeans I bought on Monday. My old jeans were too low cut and everyone was very weary and not a little repulsed by that dreaded whale tale reveal. How many times did my kids beseech me: "Mum pull up your pants!" On Monday when I saw these higher cut AG skinnies and boot cuts at my favourite Oakland store Iniam - I knew it was the truest Valentine love story.

I'm not a going-out-to-lunch person (though I would like to be!) so you choose. First is my Vince jacket outfit the second is my Kate Spade cardy.



Uh-oh!  Because I'm not a lunchie lady I can't track down anyone to go with. ...Guess I'll just sit here...with my blimin' mice.

To take my mind off the guests that never leave please, please let me know what you're up to this weekend!

30 comments:

  1. Clearly you don't need to loose an ounce! I love your house/kitchen btw! Can you please send the mice to my house? I could use to loose about 20 lbs. and I think that the mouse diet sounds very promising. And, if I'm out your way ever, I'd love to go to lunch with you. It's my favorite meal to eat out!!

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  2. That's a date! Will promise not bring my horrid new guests with me!

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  3. Oyy...that stinks!! Dumb mice (but they are cute, hahaha) Love both of the outfits though! :)

    http://www.closet-fashionista.com/

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  4. Aww, such cute photos dear!

    http://www.hsquaredfashion.blogspot.com

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  5. how gorgeous are you? i hope i can have a figure like that post kids! you definitely didn't need to lose weight b/c you always look FABULOUS.

    i hope the mice go away soon...but in the meantime, show us more pics of your gorgeous home. it looks so beautiful in the background!

    xo,
    joAnn

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  6. i found your "my house" category and i feel like i hit the jackpot! loving the pics...i am a big color girl so i like how colorful, bright and warm your home is!

    xo,
    joAnn

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  7. Thanks JoAnne - that's going to motivate me to finish photgraphing the rest of the house and posting the pics!

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  8. I agree with joAnn! Your house looks AMAZING! And I love your outfit, you're so elegant!
    We were planning to take a road trip but it's sooo windy out here, that we decided to postpone :(

    Happy Weekend!

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  9. So sorry! We have had mice and I hate them. Wish I was closer we could totally do lunch!

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  10. Sorry to be talking about the mice, but is there mouse bait called Talon over there? That works a treat. The best thing is that they eat the bait, then go back to their nest and they dehydrate - so you don't have to worry about a dead mouse stinking up your walls because they dry up.

    Anyway... you always look so stylish - jealous!

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  11. Oh, so sorry! But you do look great in that outfit!

    We had "a" mouse a few months ago. A walked into the kitchen in the middle of the night and he was munching on a stick of butter in the middle of the table. He is relocated now. (We have those green catch them alive traps)

    I know there are no more friends in our house because I clean up the house and find all sorts of food - apple cores in the kid's room, handfulls of goldfish crackers under the sofa - and no nibble marks!

    Loretta
    p.s. Mice of New York, you didn't see me write that last sentence about all the food scattered in my house!

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  12. AG does skinnies right! You look great.

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  13. Sorry about rhe mice, but you still have a very chic, beautiful house! That's why the mice want to stay! :) I love both outfits- they both look great! Such a funny post! Glad to find your blog, and hope the mice leave soon. :)

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  14. Well you look fab, who would have known about the positive effects of mice. We had them in La Jolla so I can relate. Uggh.

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  15. This is a great story! You look fabulous! As always though. I've not had mice but my place is inundated with ants almost year-round. It's so warm in my kitchen apparently. I freaked when I found a cockroach in my pantry - my reaction was like yours. Hope those mice leave soon.
    This weekend? sewing, moving furniture around, date night with my boy (as you know) and aquarobics! pretty good weekend.

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  16. We had a mouse in the house recently...I was searching for Christmas decorations in the basement and one went scrambling across the floor. Yes, there were screams as I ran up the stairs. Your oufit is fabulous - love the necklace!

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  17. Ha! I was going to comment that I would love to see more of your lovely home - but I see that I'm not the only one.

    You look fantastic in all the incarnations of your outfit!!

    Mice don't scare me but if I know there's a spider in the house I can't relax. But I won't let the hubs kill them. He has to "relocate" them. :)

    Jenn

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  18. I love this outfit, you look amazing. Slim and stunning! But EEK! at the cause of it, I can't stand mice. Living in Australia we get our fair share of creepies and crawlies, but mice are one thing that really make me shudder. Hopefully you can evict them soon! x

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  19. Girlfriend, you've got a ROCKING body! I hope and pray that my body looks that amazing after I have kids. You've got amazing style as well.

    Hope you had a lovely weekend! xx

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  20. I love your outfit *and* your house...so much so that I'd even take the mice! ;)

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  21. there is no way you are 49 and have 4 kids and look that AMAZING!!!! I love your blog, love your honesty that so many other mum's hide, and love your fashion!!!

    so sorry about the mice, but great entrepreneurial spirit on the fat farm!!!. . are there professional companies you can hire for that? or hire 4 cats?
    xoxo
    E

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  22. oh no...get those mice out before they have babies! well, you look gorgeous and your outfits are fabulous. btw- you need to show us more of your house...from what I see it looks amazing!

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  23. Okay, you are my kind of gal! I have been scuba diving with Great Whites and on an open Jeep safari in South Africa, so I'm clearly not afraid of animals. However, when it comes to mice I am beyond scared of them. I would rather walk into my kitchen (btw, yours if fabulous) and see a tiger than to see a mouse...I'm not kidding. I can't even take my children into the mouse house at the Bronx Zoo (I tell them they have to wait until Daddy is with us or I tell them it is being repaired...horrible, I know!) And, you are simply gorgeous! Your fashion style is wonderful.

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  24. You look like Faith Hill in these photos...hot! Love this outfit! Sorry about the mice...don't like seeing them around either!

    Just heard about the earthquake in NZ...hope your sister and her family are OK. <3

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  25. You're so funny!! Thanks for making me laugh.

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  26. You look great! (Mice or not) I have almost worn my boyfriend AG jeans out so a pair of black ones could be next. My cat keeps weight loss at bay for me, but an owl was living on the roof and grabbing mice at night, then throwing the bones down on the drive for a few weeks this month--very appetizing, don't you think? This post made me laugh!

    xo Mary Jo

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  27. Well, you look wonderful! I love your outfits and those new jeans are great. I had a few mice once too, certainly not a fun thing, hope they get out of there soon!

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  28. You are just too cute!

    Ahhh, we had rats in our garage not too long ago. Just happens to be where our washer & dryer are... so guess what did not get attended to- for quite some time???

    Rats are now gone, still have a ton of laundry- and no excuse!

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  29. Eek, I hate mice, too! I hope you get rid of them soon. On the other hand, I love those outfits you put together, particularly the one with the Kate Spade cardigan (and that necklace - I really want to see a closeup of the necklace)!

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  30. Forget about the mice, Miss Skinny Minny, I want your house.

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