Monday, April 25, 2011

Need More Water In the Waves

Being home in Ohope Beach, New Zealand, brings back memories of the high times of my life. And the low points. The times when, as Cy, seven just said, scanning the strangely flat seas: "You need more water in the waves."

Me on Ohope Beach

My kids with their cousins, Ohope Beach
What about you - does going home trigger a melee of memories? One day on a long walk I thought about things I hadn't thought about for years and years. As we gobbled down fish and chips from Wally's on the Wharf in Whakatane and prepared for the two hour Kohi Point walk to Ohope Beach, I remembered my very sluggish, gloggy start in the writing world. As gluggish as I'm going to feel after eating more than my fair share of these chips...

Wally's Fish and Chips
Come with me on the walk, and when the whining (both mine and Cy's "How much further!!") becomes unpalatable you can reflect on the views.

Dad, Pietra and Cy, views to Whale Island

After studying for seven years to qualify as a barrister and solicitor,  I completed a one-year post-graduate journalism course. I emerged from that course jobless. There were only three journalism jobs offered to the class and it was evident I was not considered for any of them.

Otarawairere Bay
My journalism lecturer handed me a reference that was unusable. Not horrifically critical. No, even worse - damning with praise so faint it was imperceptible. May, if pushed, have the potential to write some light fare, was the gist of his one, single comment. That was it. And a lot of white space. And the worst thing was that was all I deserved. I had rebelled at the constant and divisive competition engendered in the class by opting out. And exhausted by seven previous years at university, I failed to even pick up shorthand.

Kevin and Cy on Otarawairere Bay
I had one option - I moved home to bag potatoes in my parents' fruit and vege store. I had learned from many student summers working there that I was ill-suited to working on the till. I couldn't add stuff up and was always confused about the specials on cauliflower. Bagging spuds in the back and unloading crates of carrots allowed me plenty of reflective space to feel terribly sorry for myself.

Otarawairere Bay
Eventually emerging from a couple of months of bagging, I asked the local radio station if I could work for free. The other reporters were ten years younger than me and so much more skilled at writing and newsreading that more than once I considered heading back to the potato bagging station where perhaps I belonged. After sending out countless begging letters I was offered a job at a free newspaper in the suburbs of Auckland. I had to catch two buses every morning to get to work, taking up to an hour and a half. "Hmm..." said one friend searching for words after hearing about my new position. Then brightly: "Oh well! I guess you have to start somewhere!"

Ohope Beach
This is not a tale of euphoric trajectory, more of a slow, persistent undulating wobble upwards.  After working at a NZ national radio station, I headed to England where I spent the next 15 years. And again I had to start all over again.  I worked for a couple of years at a Gloucestershire newspaper - I once literally wrote about a cat up a tree -  then a trade newspaper in Farringdon. Eventually I made it onto what used to be called in the olden days, "Fleet Street" in London writing for the national newspapers.

After a few years I had not exactly made it in newspapers but I was getting there. I worked for, among others,  The Times, the Mail On Sunday, The Daily Telegraph and the London Evening Standard. Television and radio stations began to feature me as a travel and consumer expert.

Mum and Dad's beachfront 
Then came baby Harley and I found myself immersed in a strange new besotted contentment but also in what writer Allison Pearson called a "deep sea diver" tiredness.  I thought I would be one of those mothers who returned to work after three days. But four kids in eight years rendered me too totally knackered to turn on a laptop let alone come up with ideas that didn't involve nappies or naps.

Mum and Dad's house


Mum and Dad's front garden
A year ago, finally emerging from the ether of motherhood I thought about freelancing. But I had come full circle, I was starting in a new country with no contacts. A local free newspaper needed someone to contribute to a column reviewing wine and cocktails. It involved buying at least three drinks. After filing one article I was told my expenses were $15, which if you live in the East Bay you know does not cover even two drinks. A far cry from my days on British national newspapers where one photographer put in a claim for a $200 t-shirt (which he said was ripped by a shark) and was paid without question.

I also started this blog and now find myself plagued not only by what might have been in the past, but also fussing about the future. Where will the blog lead to? Anything or nothing? Or does that matter? Is it enough to be just writing?

What the heck is the answer? Whatcha doing? I ask Joseph, 16, who lives next door to my parents. He's sitting on his skateboard ramp with his friend Hone, also 16, both looking out to sea. They are the top two Under-18 Longboard Surfers in NZ. "Waiting for the waves" says Joseph.

Hone and Joseph at Ohope Beach
How to live in the present? Because otherwise 13 years pass and baby Harley becomes this bigger guy and you haven't remembered the in-between.

Mum and Baby Harley, Mum's backyard

Mum and Harley, 13, Mum's backyard
Harley strolled with me to pay a short visit to some old university friends I'd heard were staying down the beach. The last time I'd seen them was 25 years ago but I remembered good times and lots of laughs. We caught up for a little while and then Harley and I headed off.

"Mum" said Harley: "I don't think those people remembered you." He was absolutely right. We laughed all the way home.

Have you ever felt you were starting over again?




36 comments:

  1. A beautiful post, your memories peppered with the fabulous photos. It's strange the turns life takes and knowing when to seek out new ventures and when to let things develop naturally, that's the puzzle.

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  2. I left a 11 year corporate career to stay home, and although it was the best decision I've ever made, it was not easy 'starting all over again.' Now, 4 years later, I think I've finally got a handle on the whole "stay-at-home-mom" gig, but I know that it's temporary, and that I will eventually have to "start over yet again." Not sure when or where, but in the meantime, I'm enjoying the 'middle'... where my husband's attaining his degree, and I'm still trying to get dinner on the table each night- and that pile of laundry to GO away... No beginnings or endings for us right now, which is kinda nice :).

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us, and whether this space leads anywhere or not, it serves as a place to think, to share, to laugh, to CONNECT.

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  3. p.s. Love that last little story. Jacob (also 13) & I had a similar experience at Target the other day :).

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  4. i am so glad all those adventures lead you to write this blog. looks like a great trip and fun to see you're home...

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  5. Jody, this is a beautiful post. Life is crazy that way -- so many twists and unexpected turns. And yes, I too feel like I am constantly reinventing myself and starting anew. But truly, isn't that the best way to continue to grow!?

    I too have no idea what I expect out of blogging. I have no goal or plan. But something about the process feels right. Maybe it's honing a craft. Maybe it is simply preserving a little bit of myself. Or perhaps it is recreating myself. Only time will tell.

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  6. This kind of deliciousness is my favorite part of your blog. Welcome back! PS, I inadverntently learned a NZ word: Aroha. Love. Perhaps a good vanity plate on that mini van? ArohaNZ!

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  7. For what it's worth I think you're a beautiful writer. :) When I was younger I thought that life should be a smooth trajectory arc and I think for a lot of people it is. But for me, at least it's been a bunch of smaller arcs representing different chapters of my life. I don't know if has something to do with being a "late bloomer". Now I'm rambling. I'm off to mull this over. . . :)

    Jenn

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  8. I've started over several times so far. It's not easy, but always an adventure.
    You have some great photos. Love them and your writing.

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  9. random comments:
    1) damn, you have good genes - your mom looks the same as she did 13 years ago!
    2) I've had so many random jobs, including a stint at a fruit and veggie stand, too, in high school, which i thought was a pretty grim job. But my boss - Bo of "Bo's U Pick 'em" - was really hot...looked like the Marlboro man.
    3) I've never had a specific plan in life, and certainly not 5 or 10 years out, and i find that things have turned out well so far, & i'm rarely disappointed (in a big way, i mean. every day i'm driven nuts, but that's different).
    4) i think your next FRIDAY GIVEAWAY should be a week's retreat at your parent's home at Ohope Beach!! what a dreamy spot. and they seem so nice.
    5) i agree with other commenters - you're an awesome writer!
    xo Laura

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  10. I think your writing flows beautifully, like the waves and the pictures. I also think your greatest rewards will come from your parenting. Life is a wonderful chocolate box of experiences and it sounds like you have had a wonderful mix so far and there's still lots left in the box !

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  11. Love your writing. I think you found where you need to be.
    That last quote by Harley is hilarious!

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  12. wow, the beach is beautiful! and the fish and chips? yummy! :D

    <3, Mimi

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  13. Wow, what a gorgeous post! Lovely, lovely images!!! Great blog, I am now following! Maybe you'll have time to visit mine:)

    Kisses,
    Annabelle
    http://vivaluxury.blogspot.com

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  14. I'm so glad that you shared this Jody. I think so many of us are hard on ourselves, it's almost impossible not to be in this age of celebrity--celebrity bloggers, dressers, designers, actors, and celebs famous for being nothing other than celebs...Having 4 kids is nothing to sneeze at! And you are obviously so talented! There's still time for everything!
    xo Mary Jo

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  15. I want some of those fish and chips!

    A very interesting read and some beautiful photos.
    I had to start over again when I got divorced. Not everything as I still had my job, but the rest.

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  16. Oh I love your story, there's a lot of emotions ! And your pictures of Ohope Beach makes me want to go there !

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  17. i always love your photos and stories :)
    i so want to visit the places you'd been to!

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  18. Oh wow it looks like so much fun!! :D And haha...that's funny that he said he didn't think they remembered you...you'd think they would have said something if they didn't though...but people are weird
    http://www.closet-fashionista.com/

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  19. I really loved reading your story and the photos are so enticing! My eldest nephew left the UK aged 22 for a year out teaching in Wanganui, fell in love with NZ (and a girl) and never came home again to live. He has lived in Bankok, Bali and Thailand but still loves NZ most of all and has just spent a wonderful 3 weeks there where he sent his parents and me a daily diary with photos.....I think I really need to go for myself! All this seeing NZ vicariously can't be healthy! Also, interesting how life guides us to different paths. Me also - too many, although being a journalist was always my ambition, but life and family sort of got in the way. Blogging once a week (can't see how anyone can manage daily, but they do!!) has helped me to get back into writing, and I'm now on my second novel, although procrastinating at the moment!!

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  20. wonderful post, i adore the photos that go along with it :)




    myblissisthisway.blogspot.com

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  21. Fantastic photos - thank you for the arm travel! I've never been to NZ, but would love to one day. XOL

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  22. You are a terrific writer, and I'm so glad you started a blog! I enjoy reading it, as I know many others also do! I think change is good. Sometimes, life goes down different roads and takes unexpected turns- and didn't go as originally planned. But, I think that's exciting! There's plenty of time in life to follow many dreams, and they can come true at any time! I think this blog has an exciting future for you- and I enjoy checking in! :)

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  23. what a lovely and serene location. i just LOVE the pictures!

    and those fish & chips looks delish!

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  24. I love that you always put whats on your mind and share stories with us. These photos are beautiful. It sounds like you have traveled and been through many jobs.

    When I graduated 4 yrs with a BA in English, minor in Journalism, I sent out resume after resume and hadnt heard from anyone. So finally I took a job just so I could have money to pay back my loans. I stay there for 5 yrs, met my wonderful husband there (weve been together almost 6 yrs, married for 1!), and now we live with his amazing children, my stepchildren. It was def a new start when we all moved in together, but we're getting the hang of it and we're all happy to be together as a family <3

    I hope your new start finds you on the right path to something you love.

    Love the photo of your mom and son.

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  25. Fabulous family, locations, pictures, home.. Awesome and lucky you honey! :D

    xx

    www.sickbytrend.com

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  26. Gorgeous pics!
    Looooove your blog! Following! Follow back? <3

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  27. now you make me like going to NZ! :D

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  28. Well, Jody; you certainly earned an A+ in perseverance. And your writing is really good. So are your pix. You've come a long way. Cheers!

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  29. Hello darling,

    Thank you so much for visiting my blog and for your kind words!

    Kisses,
    Annabelle
    http://vivaluxury.blogspot.com

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  30. Oh, you're on your home turf...me too, isn't it fab :)
    Have had fish and chips 3 times already...the Yanks don't know what they are missing :)

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  31. What a great post - I enjoyed learning about your career path and journey toward motherhood. Thank you for being so honest about how you go to where you are today. I think hard work really does pay off in the end. I love the scenery of your hometown - just gorgeous!

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  32. I think that certain smells can take you right back. Next door has planted wallflowers and the sweet aroma takes me back to when I was 5 years old.

    Loved your photos. everything looks so clean and pristine.

    The fish and chips looked very tempting!

    Thanks for visiting me.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  33. More beautiful pictures of this lovely place! Thanks for sharing!
    And those fish and chips look amazing!

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  34. Ohope Beach Photo.

    Hi, my name is Simon. I live in Whakatane. I'm currently working on a video project for my church. I'm needing a photo of Ohope. Could I used the one on your blog? Cheers.

    Please email me on teamkoloofai@gmail.com

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  35. Ohope Beach Photo.

    Hi, my name is Simon. I live in Whakatane. I'm currently working on a video project for my church. I'm needing a photo of Ohope. Could I used the one on your blog? Cheers.

    Please email me on teamkoloofai@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

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