Did you know Jake Gyllenhall got his first driving lesson from family friend Paul Newman? That George Clooney sometimes sleeps in the walk-in closet of his LA mansion because "all the rooms are too light." That Angie's black velvet Versace right-leg revealer was reminiscent of Jennifer Aniston's Valentino two years ago?
|Me and my thoughts...Photoshop by Harley, 14|
Somehow I do know that. You see I have a photographic memory. Unfortunately, not for anything that can make me any money, afford me any respect, be of use to society or aid world peace. I have an steel trap memory for celebrity trivia.
The more obscure and trivial the drivel, the better I remember it. Jennifer Garner rode the Disney Small World ride days before giving birth to her son Samuel and bought a pretzel for her daughter Violet. Embarrassing that I know that - how do I know that?
I also know everything about reality stars. The incredible thing is: I don't watch reality shows, I have never seen Jersey Shore, Housewives or any of them... So how do I know that Snooki confirmed baby rumours by tweeting she has a "mini meatball in the oven," that last night they had a pickle fight. How did I pick up that condimental nonsense?
Instead of retaining all this, can't I replace it with dignified and useful stuff like: the steps on how to compact all my emails, add a home phone number to my contacts or use the convection part of our oven properly. Or how about the words to T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land? The words to any song? And yes, the carpool I'm driving today?
I suppose I could argue that this ability to discuss random celebrities in terrifying and lengthy detail helps The Village. In fact it's an anthropological necessity. About 15 years ago when I was working as a journalist in London I wrote an article that when we actually lived in small villages we had loads of common experiences because we lived, worked and played together. Now friends and workmates live at least an hour from each other so they are together less, have fewer shared friends and fewer shared experiences to discuss. Enter the shared knowledge of celebs who can be discussed safely and till the cows come home, helping forge and further friendships, according to British social anthropologists.
There ends the Justification Call. What's the most obscure thing do you know about a celeb?
(And the answer to first question: Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt...yeah, easy one)
I'm so glad to find a kindred spirit in useless celebrity trivia! Actually, I've been able to use it to win a trivia contest or two over the years. I guess reading People Magazine at the hair salon finally paid off! I often say that I acquire that information through osmosis - it manages to permeate my brain in some way, I just don't realize it. ;)ReplyDelete
OMG i joke with my husband all the time about this ---- i know all the nitty gritty details of celebrities but not so much on the politics, world affairs etc LOL . . . . there has to be a way we can capitalize on this!!!ReplyDelete
I couldn't get a discount at Cost Plus yesterday because I couldn't remember my own phone number but I know when Brad and Angelina's affair started, and how Gwen supposedly stole the part in Shakespeare in Love from Winona. Also know what size bra Winona is but not so clear about my own. Please do not feel bad about your memory! Hope you have a great weekend Jody!ReplyDelete
xo Mary Jo
Love this post. Harley's photoshop skills are a great touch to the blog. More please!ReplyDelete
Hilarious. This was really fun to read :)ReplyDelete
HAhah! you are hilarious! I got brad but didn't connect Ben ;)ReplyDelete
1. Harley has some photoshop skillz.ReplyDelete
2. I thought I also knew random celebrity trivia until. . .
3. Snooki's PREGNANT? Yikes.
The Suburb Experiment
This is how I feel too, I know a lot of entertainment tidbits and I can't figure out why!ReplyDelete
OMG! Were we separated at birth? I too can remember any amount of useless dross but ask me to recite the 9 times table? Hopeless!ReplyDelete
This is too funny!!!!! I used to know a lot of celebrity gossip (living in LA, it sometimes feels required), but Lukus made me quit following things and now I think I only have a healthy knowledge of such things....ReplyDelete
I am the same. I knew the answer to your title immediately. Couldn't be more different from my husband who has no idea who any celeb is. But he remembers all kinds of important academic stuff, and how to wire a plug (I've been told a million times, and my brain just won't retain the information).ReplyDelete
Well, I remember important trivia, like when and where Isaac Brock was killed during the War of 1812. But Snooki? Who's Snooki? Thomas Stearns Eliot, yes, I know him; murdered ex-cathedra, wasn't he? After living in the waste land with a bunch of hollow men, if I recall correctly. Writing while Prufrock measure out his life in coffee spoons.ReplyDelete
Life as a tale told by a fool, signifying . . . ?
Blessings and Bear hugs.
I'm loving the photoshopping lately! I remember random crsp too...and usually about celebrities, nothing useful. Oh well...at least I still remember something right?ReplyDelete
you are HILARIOUS.ReplyDelete
(that is all :))
Love that the kids are getting involved in your blog! Kudos to Harley's photoshopping skills! I have not the slightest bit of celebrity knowledge. Not the slightest. But I can recite all sorts of bizarre legal principles. Worthless.ReplyDelete
And yes, you should tweet. You'd be great. Or at least a ALW Facebook page. I can help. Of course, so can Harley!
Somehow a National Enquirer always leaps into my grocery cart. It's my favorite! London has some of THE best tabs evaaaa. I don't watch those crazy shows either but give me a good rag.ReplyDelete
I met a girl on my Bikini Bootcamp trip last month who is starring in a new sitcom on ABC on April 11th. It's called "Don't Trust the B@&$h in Apt 23". Should be hilarious!
i totally adore your blog!! I am reading it and I cant get enough! And it is so funny!!! well done!! Happy to follow you!ReplyDelete
I'm hopeless at celebrity gossip. I must live in a village!ReplyDelete
oh my gosh, i am so like you!!! i have a treasure trove full of celebrity trivia and gossip, hahahaha! ;)ReplyDelete
Fashion To Figure Giveaway
"Condimental nonsense" love it!ReplyDelete
Husband and I have an "unofficial" contest of who can tell the other celebrity trivia first. As in texts and phone calls while at work if something big time occurs. And if I buy People magazine at the grocery store, I hide it in my purse from him until I have devoured it first.ReplyDelete
It's a sickness.
P.S. Don't tell hubby but I'd keep George company in that closet. ;)
Haha! no way! I had no clue you had this hidden gem of a talent. That's pretty awesome if you ask me.ReplyDelete
I am also a mental hoarder of useless information except mine is in the form of murders, abductions and other gruesome crimes. If there was a crime committed since I've been alive I can likely tell you all about it. Maybe I should have become a Criminologist rather than a Designer:(ReplyDelete
This is a funny post!! I enjoyed it so much! I am so bad at celebrity gossip!ReplyDelete
Love the photoshopped picture!!
Your posts always cheer me up, Jody. I used to be very much in theme with celebrity gossip, but not anymore, but I'm enjoying every bit of it when I come across it. :)ReplyDelete
I know nuffin about celebs or even who they are but can still sing every advert jingle from circa 1971 to 1985. No idea what my children's names are...... xReplyDelete