|Samantha Brick in the Daily Mail Photo: Grant Triplow|
|Samantha Brick Photo: Grant Triplow|
Expat Mum and Curry Queen wrote brilliant pieces about how they could totally identify with her. I can't fight it any longer. Like the lemming I am - albeit a hot and fabby one - I have to join in.
This is how people see me.
And this is how I looked first thing this morning. Sooo similar right? Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful!
|Picture of me this morning|
I was almost tempted not to put up this candid pic as I know you, your spouses, your children and your pets will be using it as a screensavers.
I have long learned to accept those many compliments that come my way. A couple of examples:
*"After breastfeeding four kids, your boobs look like poached eggs on hangers." That good? Honestly people - who doesn't like poached eggs! And hangers? They are so blimin' useful!
*"You'll never be any great oil painting - best you pay attention at school." This was said to me when I was 12. I'm just glad I did because after eight years at university and three degrees I got to be a stay-at-home Mum being bossed around by four little folk. Re-sult!
*"I'm afraid you've got the typical middle-aged flat pancake arse." Again with the yummy breakfast food that everyone loves! Keep it coming!
*"Your teeth are very buck because of mis-mating. Small chin, big mouth and large teeth. A challenge for us." This from a dentist when I was ten years old. It doesn't get much better than that! "Mismating" - I'm sooo special!
I won't go on, you're already seething with envy I can tell. And now - here are some beauty tips for the rest of you guys.
1. Don't let your kids put the "Photo Booth" app onto your computer because it identifies every wrinkle you have. You will not look as rested, and frankly, as stunning as I do in the above photo.
2. Do not buy an i-pad. The screen is too shiny and like Photo Booth will reflect every wrinkle and imperfection you have.
3. Slant all mirrors backwards. Yes: back, back, back. And stand well away. In the other room is good. I have always found this is a true reflection of how incredibly slim, long and vein-free my legs are.