All Going Terribly, Terribly Well!

Promised you an update on corralling of kids and turning them into J.Crew ad from the 90's. If you want to feel good about yourself as a parent or human bean read on.

Buttah wouldn't melt

Pic by Lara; they hate having their photo taken so v. glad she told them not to smile. Our concern was Teddy the dog and ensuring she captured his quixotic mix of contemplation and joie de vivre. We needn't have worried.  As Harley, 16, said: "Let's face it; you can't take a bad photo of the old Tedmeister."

Well here is the update on the children for which I am the point person.


I rang Tallulah, 12, on Tuesday.  Greeted by Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball and posh lady's voice saying: "Please enjoy the music while you wait." Hang on...I've been put on hold by a 12-year-old girl? OK young lady, 1-0 to you. Let the games begin. There's a storm a'comin.

Yeah, there really was a storm comin'.  Yesterday it totally hosed down - first rain of the year - and I completely forgot to pick up Cy, nine, from school. Found him in sodden t-shirt and shorts quite happily walking home in whipping, stinging rain. When I picked him up he said: "Don't worry I walk home in the rain all the time."

As I said, this is the first time it's rained this year, and this statement confirmed my suspicions about Cy: he has started presenting himself to the outside world as a rugged individualist who climbs Everest before his Weetabix in the morning.

I keep hearing from random parents at the school: "That Cy of yours! What a character! What stories! And so, so independent..."

I've learned not to enquire too deeply because those stories of his tend to:
1. Be a bit fibby
2. Throw Mama Under The Bus

I have had one victory though. A la the mother in Malcom In the Middle. Cy has been buying candy from the corner store on his walk to and fro school. To get him to stop I told him I'd posted a photo of him at the tills with the caption: "Do not sell this boy candy." Cy actually believed me. For one whole month he has been too scared to stop in.

Yesterday we saw camera crews outside. What are they doing here? asked Cy.  I was about to say they're doing a story about kids who buy excessive amounts of candy after school. But that would be kind of mean...wouldn't it?

Jackson has been in abstentia trying out for basketball from 6-8.30am and 3-6pm (poor Kevin has taken him) but sadly was cut today. I texted him: Sorry Jax, you'll always be on my team. I think he appreciated that.

Which gave me the idea, why not occupy kids' time with continuous try-outs? (No doubt against some East Bay by-law. Rats.)

And finally the trickiest. Said to Harley, 16 yesterday:  How about doing Outward Bound in NZ, change your life and all that?"
"I don't want to change my life" he said eating chicken wings "I have a great life.' Point. He goes from watching live Warriors games to watching live Cal games to be taken out to dinner by friends' parents.
"But what about doing rather than all that watching" I pressed "Feel more fulfilled."
"I feel very full" he said scraping chicken bones into garbage. "I just ate 10 chicken wings"

It's going so terribly, terribly well. (Those chicken wings looked good.)