Wednesday, November 20, 2013

All Going Terribly, Terribly Well!

Promised you an update on corralling of kids and turning them into J.Crew ad from the 90's. If you want to feel good about yourself as a parent or human bean read on.

Buttah wouldn't melt
Pic by Lara; they hate having their photo taken so v. glad she told them not to smile. Our concern was Teddy the dog and ensuring she captured his quixotic mix of contemplation and joie de vivre. We needn't have worried.  As Harley, 16, said: "Let's face it; you can't take a bad photo of the old Tedmeister."

Well here is the update on the children for which I am the point person.


I rang Tallulah, 12, on Tuesday.  Greeted by Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball and posh lady's voice saying: "Please enjoy the music while you wait." Hang on...I've been put on hold by a 12-year-old girl? OK young lady, 1-0 to you. Let the games begin. There's a storm a'comin.

Yeah, there really was a storm comin'.  Yesterday it totally hosed down - first rain of the year - and I completely forgot to pick up Cy, nine, from school. Found him in sodden t-shirt and shorts quite happily walking home in whipping, stinging rain. When I picked him up he said: "Don't worry I walk home in the rain all the time."

As I said, this is the first time it's rained this year, and this statement confirmed my suspicions about Cy: he has started presenting himself to the outside world as a rugged individualist who climbs Everest before his Weetabix in the morning.

I keep hearing from random parents at the school: "That Cy of yours! What a character! What stories! And so, so independent..."

I've learned not to enquire too deeply because those stories of his tend to:
1. Be a bit fibby
2. Throw Mama Under The Bus

I have had one victory though. A la the mother in Malcom In the Middle. Cy has been buying candy from the corner store on his walk to and fro school. To get him to stop I told him I'd posted a photo of him at the tills with the caption: "Do not sell this boy candy." Cy actually believed me. For one whole month he has been too scared to stop in.

Yesterday we saw camera crews outside. What are they doing here? asked Cy.  I was about to say they're doing a story about kids who buy excessive amounts of candy after school. But that would be kind of mean...wouldn't it?

Jackson has been in abstentia trying out for basketball from 6-8.30am and 3-6pm (poor Kevin has taken him) but sadly was cut today. I texted him: Sorry Jax, you'll always be on my team. I think he appreciated that.

Which gave me the idea, why not occupy kids' time with continuous try-outs? (No doubt against some East Bay by-law. Rats.)

And finally the trickiest. Said to Harley, 16 yesterday:  How about doing Outward Bound in NZ, change your life and all that?"
"I don't want to change my life" he said eating chicken wings "I have a great life.' Point. He goes from watching live Warriors games to watching live Cal games to be taken out to dinner by friends' parents.
"But what about doing rather than all that watching" I pressed "Feel more fulfilled."
"I feel very full" he said scraping chicken bones into garbage. "I just ate 10 chicken wings"

It's going so terribly, terribly well. (Those chicken wings looked good.)

35 comments:

  1. I think you should do stand up!

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahaha wow it is going sooo well
    things must now be super duper swell lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. Two things got me through the teen years - some random talk show person who said it can't hurt to just treat your teenager like some crazy cousin who has to live with you for a few years - and remembering a film on ape communities and seeing the adolescent apes all sitting together away from the group with their backs toward their families and occasionally sneaking peeks at them. Commentary was that it was a natural reaction for the "teen-age" ape to display this scorn for their families and is thought to prevent inbreeding, which is why the ape is better than many other mammals.
    And 9 year old Cy sounds like he is doing just fine. In three years when he starts the teenaged journey, you will have one finishing it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wonders never cease, when they're at any age. Think of it this way: in only ten years they will all be grown up. Officially. More or less. And they will head out. And you will ask yourself, "Where are the kids?" Trust me; Bears know about these things.

    Blessings and Bear hugs, Jody!

    ReplyDelete
  5. That pic is priceless, I think they can do a J.Crew ad now, they've sold me on white T's, a sun dress and a bow tie. Give Mickey a call and hire them out, maybe that's worth a few bucks toward retirement. And I have a feeling Cy will negotiate a better deal than that for you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, I love your blog Jody, you always make me laugh. I do wonder what Cy will be like in 20 years. I hope you're still blogging :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well that picture is a framer! They may be a handful but it does seem great fun and you will laugh like crazy about all this in the future if you're not already! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. You crack me up, and i supose i'll keep laughing until mine hit their teens! Great b & w photo btw x

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great photo! Well done Lara.

    This was hilarious, Jody. Your kids might drive you mad but they make for terrific stories.

    My eldest is like yours. He said to me not long ago: "I have a perfect life" (playing XBox, going out with friends, doing no work, eating). I muttered to myself "For now...". :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Remember that revenge is a dish best served cold. Someday they will be parents. And you will buy candy and inappropriate music and let them run like little heathens and then go home....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A friend just send me a little cartoon which said: "Mum take that curse off me. I'm so sorry I was awful as a teenager but why did you make my kids 10 times worse" Haha

      Delete
  11. That's a great photo. I prefer black and white for family pics like this. A fun post which had me chuckling too!
    http://missbbobochic.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  12. Agree with all the comments above - we feel your pain but adore the way you share it with us.
    We shamed our son to do the washing up yesterday and the first thing he did was put rubber gloves on! So like his mother!

    ReplyDelete
  13. And I just wasted $10 on a stupid book to see Bridget Jones as a parent. Your adventures and your writing are far superior. My kids still rag me about the time one was late coming home from school, it got dark, with steam coming out of my ears I jumped in the car, found him strolling and dawdling his way along a busy street. Flung the back door open, shrieked "Get in, you little wretch, don't you know how worried we've been?" He got in, I floored it, lecture continued until I paused for breath at which point child identified himself. Not one of mine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just loved the BJ book, didn't want it to end! Hilarious! Brilliant - Does he hide from you whenever he sees your car pull up???

      Delete
  14. Beautiful, beautiful pic. I love that Cy has created an adventurous persona. At least he is imagining great things! The most interesting people I know have an amazing perspective on themselves, and inevitably, a fabulous imagination!

    As my mother once said: "I had three children, if even one or two turned out good doesn't that still make me a good mom." Indeed it does. Ride the curve.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Great picture........and very 'switched on kids'....they will go far.....and then you can pat yourself on the back for a job well done.....and I used to love watching MITM with the kids......happy times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a great antidote to the Brady Bunch type other stuff

      Delete
  16. Your kids sound like big characters each one of them, funny, smart and handfuls! You can either laugh or cry, go for laughing whenever possible!
    Thanks for the update I've been worrying about you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vascillating between the two - but you are so right, its a choice!

      Delete
  17. Lovely photo...your kids all seem to have brill characters. They will make great adults.

    ReplyDelete
  18. What? Chicken wings? Don't tell me they came in a bucket. *fans air towards face and almost-faints* I had this picture perfect quinoa mama image of yours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually Cy asked me the other night. have you ever done that thing where you cook something from scratch. Cheek (answer not in the last couple of years)

      Delete
  19. I'm sorry .... I'm not sure I really took much in after the first paragraph .... your 12 year old daughter put you on hold??? Shoot me now ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS - But they all photograph beautifully!!

      Delete
    2. Totally, just texted her to remove that obnoxious song - isn't 600 million hits on Youtube enough?

      Delete
  20. hehe "enjoy the music while you wait" -- all you needed to hear was "your approximate wait-time is 10 MINUTES " in a sing-song voice!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I agree with the first comment, you should do stand up or write a book, it would be bloomin' marvellous!! x

    ReplyDelete
  22. Very beautiful picture ;)

    I follow you beautiful blog. I hope you will follow me back and I will wait for you in my blog www.gabusiek.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  23. Jody, First loving the photo. You are so right -totally J Crew from the 90s! That cracks me up about Tallulah's phone. I have called a few people with that strange message..Slightly disturbing..Also have to say CY sounds like my youngest -especially the throw mama under the bus part.. Lol. Gosh you are in the thick of it like me…I'm so stressed my high schooler is blowing it too. I's love to send him to Outward Bound, but he loves being at home and loves us…May be another decade or so he's home! xKim

    ReplyDelete
  24. okay, second time i've cried entering your site. is it me?? ;)

    (it was the text to your boy that did me in)

    thank you for the update. it made me smile too. only few can move me to tears AND smiles in a matter of such few words. you've got talent, lady.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I love your stories, Jody. You crack me up even if I'm having a bad day.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...