|The Gardener makes for a solitary figure eating his Chinese chicken salad lunch outside.|
I had envisaged Kevin's sojourn at home as an invigorating melee of grocery shopper, chauffeur, stylist, receptionist, tech guy, dishwasher and lady's companion.
And dog walker. Off he went with Teddy who is still not great when he sees other dogs. Sighting two dogs across the road Teddy started lunging at his lead. The owner trilled a warning to her perfect pooches: "Dog behaving badly! Dog behaving badly!"
How humiliating for Kevin. Otherwise the day was going quite well. My computer wasn't connecting to the printer so I kept emailing attachments to Kevin in his office yelling: "Print now please!" That worked.
At the end of the morning, he appeared at my desk with the latest print out and asked wearily: "Is this really how it's going to go?"
Next I sent him off to get the dry-cleaning and buy me a donut. "Take the dog!" I called helpfully as he left. Kevin arrived back with quite a sad story.
He'd parked opposite the donut store, got Teddy out, and Teddy diarrhea-ed all over the grass. Kevin looked around for something in the car to clean it up, but no luck. Checking furtively for witnesses, he scooted quickly across to the donut shop, intending to buy me a donut and grab some napkins to clean up Teddy's apocalyptic mess.
While Kevin was in the store, outside Teddy was barking at everything like a crazy dog. This panicked the shop assistant who hissed: "Just go outside. I'll hand them to you." Kevin returned to the car, napkins in hand and cleaned up Teddy's watery accident.
Returning home he handed me the custard donut, whereupon I might have said: "Not the jam one? I did say jam."
Sloping off to his office, I head him mutter: "I used to be in charge of people. I used to run a company..."
"Print now please!" I yelled through to his office.
Think it's going really well don't you?