Monday, February 6, 2012

SuperSlagging Bowl Model

Uh-oh Gisele. Slagging off your husband's teammates? I wouldn't want to be in your Jimmy Choos at the next after-match function. Best grab your half-shandy and head to the table in the corner, chook.

Gisele consoles her husband, Tom Brady. Getty Images

Super Bowl shenanigans yesterday arvo. Sorry, I'm using up all my alliteration allowances for the year, but it's worth it. Gisele Bundchen was caught slagging off teammates of her husband, Patriot star Tom Brady, after the 21-17 loss. (First read on JMW's A Place to Dwell who dubbed her Yoko.)

“You [have] to catch the ball when you’re supposed to catch the ball,” Gisele said in a video posted by, via TBL. “My husband cannot f–king throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”

Gisele may have already won a place in your hearts when she revealed herself as an exemplary parent: "When my son eats broccoli, he thinks it's dessert." "There should be a worldwide law...that mothers should breast feed their babies for six months." "I do everything for them...When I'm home, I'm extremely 100 percent present."

You don't have to be steeped in a life-time of sideline sports watching (and I'm not) to know that it might not be a brilliant idea to slag off your bloke's team-mates. Even if they were being a bit butter fingers

I would do a lot for my husband. I even strolled our kids halfway across London every Sunday to a dog-poop syringe-filled field in Barnes to watch him play baseball for hours...and hours.  Afterwards at the Ciggy Butt & Grubby Grub pub would I have suggested that others might not be as fabulous a player as he?  No, ho ho. I just drank my bad chardonnay, crunched on my stale crisps and kept my counsel. Even if, in fact, I had so little interest in sport, I had no counsel to keep.

Kevin and Harley at the baseball fields in Barnes, London, 14 years ago

Sorry, you're not home free...More rants today - this time it's me over at BritMums. Our lives have gone from contented babies to chaos. Just as we thought we might have the baby thing sort-of sorted, they turned into tweeny teens. It's a sh*t show, people! Our piano teacher just fired us. Apparently my kids' lack of talent and poor attitudes are unprecedented. Help! What to do? ( I know... I'll ask Gisele.)

Guess what? We're selling the piano!

On a positive note, there's still time to enter our Valentine giveaway.


  1. Omg this post had me belly laughing!!! You are hysterical the way you write!!!
    Maybe look at the positive and know that you won't have to sit thru stuffy
    piano recitals!!! xoxo

  2. Hahaha. Yeah, she's a real peach isn't she? I bet all the other wives just love her ;)

  3. Yeah. Talk about poor sportsmanship. What does she have to complain about? They have millions regardless of how many more Superbowls he wins...on the other hand, if I hadn't consumed anything more than lettuce and water since age 16 I would probably be pretty cranky too.

    P.S. I love the Yoko reference...I can't help but think that Tom's first son is Julian Lennon reincarnate.

  4. What is this superbowl — a self-cleaning toilet? Handy having one of those.

    As for the rest, well, whatever. And yes, a team doesn't win in a football game when people keep dropping the ball. Hardly rocket science, that, or even auto mechanics. I'm with Giselle. But then, what does a Bear know about football?

  5. You are so funny! Love this. And, while Mr. Bear agrees with Giselle, as I'm sure many Patriots fans do, it would be best if she showed some decorum by keeping her mouth shut. Why the need to drop the F-bomb?? Way to be a good example for your child.

  6. Classic Jody! You are so witty.

    And I feel sorry for Giselle. It must be so hard to be so incredibly perfect as a mother, wife, and sex kitten every hour of every day. Exhausting. Berating others' for their missteps is justified when you are so incredibly perfect yourself. Clearly.

    Sorry about the piano. My son plays too (daughter moved on to violin). And for the record, I think mediocre playing is just fine. They are still learning to read music. Geesh. We can't all be Giselle.


  7. Gosh I wish I was more like Gisele, she sounds a really swell lady *cough*.

    My sons don't do any music either. My eldest used to but then decided it wasn't cool, and my youngest aged about 4 when he was at a fun music discovery class for tots said he hated it and didn't like playing instruments, and has maintained that attitude to this day.

    He makes a pretty cool dancer to XBox Kinect Dance Central though.

  8. Sacked by the piano teacher?? Oh the shame!
    Will go and read your post at BritMums. I have a travel round-up piece they have asked me to do; should be up early next week.

  9. Some people need to learn the art of saying NOTHING. I used to think Gisele beautiful, now just annoying, arrogant and a poor sport....she's not making any friends, that's for sure AND don't give me parenting tips! Funny post!

    Tweenagers, and Teen times, does become a s#@t show. Hang on! Don't give that piano teacher a second thought!

  10. I somehow missed Gisele's pronouncements on parenting. Don't let her get wind of your piano shortcomings. The video will go viral!

  11. laughing so hard at the Gisele comments. I am currently hanging my head in shame at what a bad mother I am in comparison!!!! ;)

  12. I'm assuming we have permission to laugh at being fired by the piano teacher??? Good story for the grandkids:) Wow, Gisele is beautiful and stupid...we never see that combo, right?!

  13. You had me laughing. Thanks!
    I hadn't heard the Gisele comments, yikes!

  14. Half shandy - hilarious!
    Good God, who else's kids think broccoli is dessert?

  15. Gisele was absolutely foolish... especially considering the general backlash! I can't even imagine what the players and their spouses must be saying around the kitchen table....

    Perhaps Gisele should focus on teaching her so to lose gracefully....

  16. omg... it's a rare moment that i have *no words. but when it comes to her- and others like her... i am at a loss. one word does come to mind. EGO. Oh, one more. Oblivious.

    more importantly- you've (well, your kids) been fired??? from piano lessons?? thank god my kids are pretty much only in scouts (hip hop ended... can't seem to find the time to get jacob signed up for karate)... i don't think scouts get fired very easily. ;)

  17. I always laugh so hard when I stop by. Congrats for joining the club, I got fired by my gardener, web guy and graphics person today--yay me! Wish I could sell my yard and computer and be done with it, but no such luck.

    xo Mary Jo

  18. ha-ha-ha, in her Jimmy Choos! brilliant :)
    I enjoy your writing very much.

  19. This gave me a good giggle :)

  20. You made me laugh out loud in class maybe I shouldn't have been reading through your blog during class haha

    I honestly can't believe all of the things Giselle said wow!

  21. Wags are the bane of all sports lovers here in England (posh!)i hope this is just a one off.

  22. Hehehe, i needed a little chuckle :)


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