Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The Victoria Beckham Dart-Dress Diet

Victoria Beckham - love her or loathe her - has made tailored dresses almost street style. There were others before her - Roland MouretZac Posen and, to a lesser extent, Louis Verdad. But it's Victoria who has really popularised the posh lady frock.


It meant I could get loads more wear out of my five-year-old LouisVerdad (practically vintage, darling) and I took it out of the closet on Friday night for Kevin's birthday dinner. That's when I realised why VB is baby whippet thin.

Me leaving home in my darts dress....
a veritable Mother Stomach Sucker.....
It's the defined waist - and the darts. You have to stand straight and sit ramrod ...otherwise one's bloppy bits go hither and thither. Not a bad thing thing to have good posture. But the downside? You can barely eat or drink.  I ordered my usual roast chicken (I'm one of those really pathetic people who orders roast chicken whenever it's on the menu) and I could hardly get through the leg and a few spoons of the spuds.

It makes sense: Victoria is 5'6 (or 5'2 depending on who you read) 99lbs, size zero and with a 23 inch waist. There's no scoffing going on there and her dart-y dresses obviously put paid to any roast chicken meals.

Saturday, my Louis Verdad was replaced with my good old loosey goosey dress. We headed for the The Trappist in Old Oakland - "No crap on tap" apparently. We sucked down a few brews, before ducking in next door to Tamarindo for tamarind margaritas and fish tacos. More my speed, friends.

Me in Old Oakland, ready for some bevies
The Trappist "no crap on tap"

Before heading off to bed with our big old beer-and-taco-bellies, we checked our emails for Xfinity, which (mis)translates all your home phone messages. This one was a corker:

"Hello Jody Brettbelly and Kevin Cooler, Sorry about the whole five, hey we're back in town. Bye bye baby buddy."

I may not be a real laidy with a posh frock but - hey! - hold still my belly because I'm married to Mr Cooler.

Are you a VB lover or more of a loosey goosey dresser?


55 comments:

  1. I think you look fab in both dresses, lucky lady. My build is too athletic for those ladylike frocks, so loosey goosey it is!

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  2. Those 'suck it up/in and don't breathe' dresses look fabulous....but at my age I like my spuds and have to wear something that will accommodate the belly! You look tremendous in both outfits Jody........and as for VB? well I think she is a very average girl who received an enormous dollop of good luck from somewhere when she joined the spice girls and moved on to being famous.
    You are very much a real lady, being gracious, kind, funny and considerate....and not too 'up yourself'!

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  3. I think VB I am loosen goosey - ho hum!
    ps you look gorgeous in both dresses Mrs Cooler!

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  4. I couldn't give a monkey's arse about VB. I notice that she's very skinny but that's about it.

    You look lovely in the posh frock but let's face it, life is all about being comfy so I tend to go for clothes with room to grow...

    I love my food so it would be a tragedy if I couldn't do justice to a lovely dinner because my belly was bounded by a reinforced concrete dress.

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  5. Oh, I know, she just defines fashion.
    I've just got a pair of overalls made to her special design.

    It doesn't stop the grease and oil from sticking to it, but I just feel so chic wearing them.

    PS I accesorize with aligator skin steel-toed workboots and Koala skin work gloves.

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  6. I'm a loosey goosey but I wish I could rock some of those tighter dresses too. You look fabulous in both but I'm in awe of your figure. I'm not big but if you're small - it's easy to come across as compact(ed) unless you're of a VB frame.

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  7. Well, you know what I think of Vicky B and her 'designs'. You look very modelesque in that darts dress, but I'm more of a loose woman myself! I need to chow down in comfort.

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  8. Somewhere in between for me, which obviously means my frocks aren't fashionable at all. I don't mind if they go in at the waist, but when they keep hugging all the way down, there's nowhere for the muffin top to go.

    Love that photo with your little pooch on the chair next to you. I bet no-one noticed him: everyone is looking at your gorgeous figure.

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  9. Wow, look a you! I used to always dress VB style, but really tight dresses just seem so Essex style now over here, so I'm becoming a bit more lady like, through mor eoften than not I'm in sweats.

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  10. I'm slightly in between (when I wear a dress, that is) as I have no waist and never have. A friend of mine, with a very slim figure, swears by Karen Millen dresses and I can see why - they are like corsets but very comfortable. Apparently. I don't think I could bring myself to splash out $350 on a short day dress.

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  11. Reality is--- I am loosey goosey. Occasionally I will wear something very tailored a la VB, but usually that is in a work setting where I want to look extra sophisticated. In my day to day I am much more relaxed and the loosey goosey look suits it well...

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  12. Don't have the figure for the VB/dart dress. I certainly wouldn't be running errands every day in one if I could. I'm trying not to just throw on the sack either lately. Something in the middle --show the waistline, but not too tight.

    You can pull any look off though-you're as thin as VB

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  13. I love a good shirt dress...it hides a multitude of sins! But seriously...imagine being that hungry all the time. I bet she can barely hold her head up...where does she get the strength?

    I'd rather be a little chubby than cranky and hypoglycemic all the time.

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  14. Both your dresses are fab! I personally prefer the loosy goosy...but I am 5'4 with short legs...so have to be careful it doesn't look like I am wearing a tent. lol!

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  15. OMG... the translator, MR. COOLER(??)... you crack me up lady.

    i really do wish i could be option #1 for a day, but who am i kidding? #2 all. the. way.

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  16. AMAZING POST:)
    Your blog is so wonderful and Im following...I hope you follow me also:)

    If you want some autumn inspiration..check out my new post:)

    Have a great weekend dear

    LOVE Maria at inredningsvis.se
    (sweden)

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  17. insanity is how you look all darted up.
    i can't stand fabric on my skin. hate it! hate it! hate it!
    i feel like a condom.
    i need to feel light and airy. i much prefer a paper bag any day.

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  18. I love both dresses and as for tight-tight or loosey-goosey, it really depends on the day, occasion and mood. Oh and if it is that time of month, quite frankly.

    Actually I have to admit that many of VB's designs are quite nice but I just can't get over those way too high pumps. The shoes she wore for the Royal Wedding were like triple platform. And don't get me started on her fascinator worn for the wedding!

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  19. Ohhhhh, I'm a very loosey goosey dresser. :)

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  20. I like the first dress on you. So order the fish next time. :)

    No way is VB 5'6". JMO

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  21. Beautiful...love the dress. You look stunning. I love both kinds of dresses. I'd get bored with just the one and not have room when I eat all my chocolate and other sweets ; ) xx

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  22. Both dresses are lovely - for me it depends where I am going - drink or meal. I've been caught out before in an ultra-fitting dress and then no room for dessert!
    http://missbbobochic.blogspot.co.uk/

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  23. I love your loosey goosey dress. YOu look fabulous in both, but I am about comfort. Loosey goosey for me.

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  24. Loathe her I'm afraid & her husband has too much ink going on now......You rock both of those frocks & you would never guess that you have four children! I too love a good roast chicken.....Rx

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  25. You rock both.....but I'm partial to the loose look. You know me...I gotta eat!!!

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  26. Tight dresses on others because I think it looks nicer ; I do admire VB for her willpower and her talent for transforming herself into an icon. Loosey goosey on me because I have none of the above. X

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  27. I think VB has really produced some lovely ($$$$) dresses over the past few years. She has one of this tiny build gals and she keeps herself super thin. You have to at least give her a little credit being that she's had a few kids (will power!) As for me.. I go both ways. As I've gotten older I'm not as regimented as I used to be. I still like a fitted dress/skirt every now and then buy I'm also into more relaxed attire :)

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  28. I absolutely LOVE wearing tight, VB style dresses. I wore one last week in a grubby pub in Devon. Yes, I looked a little 'Essex' but I don't care. There is more than a dab of chavviness about my clothes taste. Sadly food wasn't an option as that style of dress doesn't permit it but I made up for it by drinking plenty of beer.
    You look amazing in both dresses but the tight one does it for me. Rock it, Mrs Cooler

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  29. Jody, you'll have to post more photos of yourself in outfits. Say what you like about yourself but you look stunning in both. Personally, I'm with you there about the loosey goosey. I consider sitting in front of the most divine meal and not being able to eat much of it thanks to the outfit I'm wearing as a form of torture.

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  30. Quite unfairly, you look fab in both dresses. And much more human than the ever-surly VB!

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  31. A Victoria becham dress is the type of dress you squeez into for your school reunion to impress but a loosely gooey dress is for real life everyday fun with drinking n eating.

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  32. My problem with figure hugging dresses is having relatively big boobs, which I'm sure VB doesn't have to contend with. I would just look top heavy in that.

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  33. My gosh Jody you look amazing in that dress! I only wish I were that thin...I think you give VB a run for her money seriously. It's beautiful on you too. You clearly earned that figure on your bike expedition!

    However, I am sure the girl doesn't eat!! It would be stressful being married to Mr B I think too. Always have to look fab or he's checking someone else out!

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  34. You look perfect in both. I had my dart dress days, but sadly, they are behind me. I now prefer loosey goosey!

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  35. Loosey goosey allllll the way!

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  37. I can't help loving VB...because she has literally made a silk purse out of a sow's ear. I mean she couldn't sing to save her life and yet she has created in herself and her husband a million dollar brand. Genius! I think she is WAAAAAY too thin though. I am so loosey goosey it isn't funny but I sometimes dress up in high heels and a dress if I'm going to a fancy restaurant.

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  38. Love that last picture.
    Lovely ambiance.

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  39. Oh my goodness, you are such a svelte lady Jody, you look great in anything including those impossibly difficult to wear lady like dresses. I have a vintage J Crew (read old) lady like dress that has stretch in it--that's about the only way I can do ladylike--with lots and lots of stretch, ha! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
    xo Mary Jo

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  40. "baby whippet thin" - i'm using that line from now on. thanks for a good old laugh and i am with you on the freeflowing clothes. i tried to wear a fitted high wasted skirt to a client dinner last month and it was a disaster. i near not breathing. :)

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  41. Definitely loosey goosey! I've gained way too much weight to be anything else. Even my "go to" dress doesn't fit anymore! LOL!!! Love Di ♥

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  42. I'll take a Mother Sucker any day of the week. Def think that anything fitted always makes me feel better about how I look. You, Dahhhling, look AMAZING in the darted dress. Victoria better look out!

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  43. In my mind I like dart dresses but in real life I prefer loosey goosey. You look great in both but I know what you mean about roast chicken, I was just thinking it's getting closer and closer to Thanksgiving and that is definitely time for loosey goosey.

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  44. Sorry, but the only darts I know of have flights and are associated with beer.

    Mind you I did have a dart in my trousers once, but I punched the bugger who threw it and have never had another.

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  45. I prefer relatively inexpensive suits off the rack. Bears don't need to be fancy dressers.

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  46. I love the dart dress look, but the feel of a loosey goosey version. You look great in both! xo style, she wrote

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  47. Jody, you look fabulous in the ladylike dress! I love both ladylike and looser-fit dresses.
    Ada

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  48. I look silly in loosey goosey a I am short and curvy but I am too curvy for a VB dress... yes, a true wardrobe issue. Usually solved by a long straight skirt and a cami with a blazer.

    But don't you look fab either way! You know I read this blog as much for the fashion as the writing, don't you? I shall now look at my dresses in a different light.

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  49. Oh I agree you look awesome! Your dress is so cute.

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  50. VB looks great but I clearly am not prepared for what it would take to look like that. I adore the dress you wore and you look just as chic.

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  51. I haven't seen the VB dart dress, but I have seen the one that curves into your waist in a darker fabric (sorry not explaining that one very well). Was actually thinking of getting one. I'm all for loosey-goosey though. x

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  52. Yeah, got to say. I'm a loosey goosey dress.
    I think you looked great in both.

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  53. victoria beckham's dresses are really always tailored to perfection! ;)

    <3, Mimi
    http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/
    Too Much Soul Giveaway
    LensVillage Giveaway

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  54. Love VB dresses. Love your dresses, looking fantastic.

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