Thursday, May 2, 2013

My Husband is Scared of Me


Do you remember that scene in Mad Men when Don Draper arrives home to his glossy Manhattan apartment to be greeted by his nubile young wife, Megan?  She takes off his jacket, hands him a cocktail and puts his steak on the broil.

Yeah, that happens every night at our house too. 

Chilled your Manhattan Don...

Don Draper: "Honey, I'm home!" via

Last night my husband stopped off at the deli at the end of our road and bought - as he normally does - a tiny container of fresh tabouli made by a local Greek family, two bars of Tscho "serious" chocolate and green olives with the stalks still on.

Was he secretly hoping for the Don Draper treatment?  If so he must have been disappointed because sadly, he received the Al Bundy greeting.

Where's the milk?" I queried, a tad shrilly. (Our kids go through two gallons a day. 2% Clover Organic, in case you're interested) 
"Where's the toilet paper? Where's the bread?" I further queried, a tad shrillier.
"You didn't tell me to buy those things." he said.
"But every time you stop at the market you need to buy those things." I said.
"But you're always telling me off for not buying exactly the right ones." he said.

I thought: My husband is scared of me. Then I thought: That's not such a bad thing...is it?


What's the homecoming scenario in your Casa?

51 comments:

  1. LOL I get meowed at by a cat or two
    And that is it at my zoo
    And having him under your thumb
    Works well and them some

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    Replies
    1. Under my thumb
      the girl who pushes me around
      Under My Thumb
      But at least I get to watch every Warrior game!

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  2. Ours is "how was your day?" response "sh*t" followed by "mine too" then either a cup of tea is brewed or a bottle of wine is opened LOL

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    1. Vicky - that is the perfect end of the day - Day. Shit. Mine too. Cup Brewed, Wine opened too. Like a haiku, my friend.

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  3. The dogs are thrilled to see me because it means they will get walked and then fed. The husband, well...

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    1. Teddy the silly pup is just berzerko to be alive

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  4. Ha--- I love it! Did he cower a little???

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    Replies
    1. Course! He has the TP brand imprinted on his mind now

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  5. Usually a cocktail or a glass of wine after work is not just a good idea, but a priority. We both need our veg time for at least 1/2 hour when we get home after dealing with 'people' all day (you know the ones, the people who got on our nerves, the bad drivers, etc....)

    oh Hubs has given that same response too in the past, so now I make him a list. I even put the items in order of how he will do the loop around the store so he does not forget anything and there's no excuse for not getting an item! lol

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    1. Actually he's always trying to get me to use Google Calender so maybe this is his crafty way of finally making me do it!

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  6. hmm it's always a different movie for my homecoming scenarios! :) great post!

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  7. Jody, if he is not at least a little bit anxious about upsetting you or getting things wrong then you have been doing your job wrong! Ok perhaps our chaps aren't scared of us exactly but remember 'If mama is happy then the whole house is happy'.x

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  8. Jody, I've missed your blog, you always make me smile. Here it's something like:
    me: do you really think I bought you a hundred dollar bed?
    cat (sleeping on my new west elm pillow) yes
    man: i guess that means we're eating out?
    me: yes

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  9. The Al Bundy treatment? You mean the guy that Peg said needed to go to booty camp? That's not so bad. Sometimes the only treatment I get after a hard day's work is the here-is-your-salad-and-that's-all treatment. Ouch, I know.

    A scared husband is a good husband? Dear Lord, what is this world coming to? ;)

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  10. Haha!! Poor Husband, but I think I'm the same sometimes. If what I need isn't bought exactly, I get annoyed as that means I must go and get it and that takes me away from getting the other things I need to do done, so it's irritating, but thankfully it doesn't happen often, so I remain calm ;) Hope you have a great weekend x

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  11. Oh I am pretty sure it is the same. My husband's favourite saying is "do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? I have chosen happiness in my marriage"!

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  12. Devil woman, you are! I'm not sure it's safe for me to visit here any more!

    Bear leaves hastily. He does not trundle out as usual.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting
    Life in the Urban Forest (poetry)

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  13. Your husband sounds rather considerate, I'd have bought a six pack of peroni and some parmesan breadsticks....that's about my lot.

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  14. My husband is quite good at shopping, but he usually comes in and complains that the boys don't say hello and are watching TV. I point out that they have literally just finished their homework and piano practice, spent an hour outside running around when they got home from school, and are now exhausted. Thus the evening beginneth.

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    1. My friends told me yesterday that they just get off the computers for five mins and give him full attention and the hubs seem very content with that. FIVE whole minutes I say!

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  15. How about a shopping list for his smartphone calendar? That way he will never forget it. Eventually he will learn . :)

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  16. The dogs bark and jump and get so excited to see PAPA!As he says I wish my wife would give me that kind of greeting!I wait quietly so that all the licks and wags are taken care of then I start broiling the steak.........as it is late very late and I/m exhausted by the time he comes home!

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  17. My husband never gets the right stuff either. He buys gourmet cookies at Whole Foods but won't buy the chemical free loaf of bread or organic milk. Last time I sent him to Costco on his own was the last time I will send him to Costco on his own..could have kicked him.

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    1. How many gadgets for the BBQ did he get?

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  18. Oh of course he gets the don draper he wishes. What amazes me how he may go out to get milk com back with everything except milk.

    The dog senses when my husband is coming home and waits at the door with lots of barks and a very waggy tail. He's our Megan my Megan days ended many years ago.

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    1. Never thought of the puppy in that way, he's def our Megan. (That's why Im so mad at Don for walking upstairs...)

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  19. My husband is a little scared of me too, but that because I'm an emotional rollercoaster and he never knows what will set me off. :)

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  20. This is a good note-to-self for me for when I get married. Never forget milk and toilet paper :)

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  21. Husby will say I picked up some vegetables while I stopped at the stores and I'll say honey, you got another head of cabbage when we already have two more in the refrigerator but you forgot olive oil and we're completely out. Substitute items but that's about the exchange we have.

    He is a little scared of me but he needs to be more scared.

    Love this post. You always make me laugh.

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  22. fuck-yeah-awesome, who doesn't love scaring their husband LOL!

    oh god I missed reading your blog. hope all is well hun!

    bisous de france xxxxx

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  23. Jody,
    I also get annoyed with my husband about his shopping. However, now after too many of these scenarios, he won't shop unless he has a text of exactly what he's getting. Fine, but the thing is, he just can't think out of the box...So like you said, they should know what we always use a lot of! I mean, does it always have to be spelled out? It just gets old telling everyone everything doesn't it?

    Hope your weekend was good.:)

    xx
    Kim

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  24. I don't think my husband knows we need to do shopping, he thinks the loo roll holder (& the cupboards) fill themselves! But I think you're right to keep him just a little bit scared!

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  25. I am sure that the Don Draper/Megan treatment would just make my husband very uneasy. Like that guy who brings his wife flowers a little too often.

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  26. I'll admit to the occasional chilled martini glass on a random Friday night for my man...but not every time (keep em guessing!). Now that I am so busy with business he does much more of the shopping and I've taken to photographing the list and texting it to him if he forgets it. Shrill...maybe...practical yes! Zubi Zubi zu!
    xx, Heather

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  27. Count your blessings, woman! The Shah walks past a large branch of Boots on Waterloo station every day, yet is unable to buy himself any sort of toiletry, merely whines when he runs out :-(

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  28. Aww bless, I'm sure there's an app for that (isn't there?). :)

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  29. LOL!! My husband is usually home before I am and he does the cooking. I am a lucky girl. However, I get the kitchen clean-up duty (not so lucky there).

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  30. hysterical ..... sounds like my hubby .... scared of me : )

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  31. You made me smile - men can be hopeless x

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  32. DON'T!
    I'm remembering every time I was a tad shrill.
    And praying he knew I loved him more than life.

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  33. LOLOLOL! That's EXACTLY what I say too!! And the husband replied the very same words. My dad once tried to teach me to treat the hubs right. When he gets home, immediately make him a cup of hot chocolate (huh??!) and get the dinner on the table. The first time I handed him his hot chocolate, he looked scared. He thought I'd lost the plot. So now, it's back to "where the hell is the milk I told you to get?!"

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    1. Yes I always think - best not to confuse. Consistency of behaviour is everything I feel...it's kindest all around. So no hot choccy being offered in this house

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  34. This is such a cute post! Really had me laughing!!

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  35. OH, I'm so behind in your posts, and I'm so sorry. This one made me laugh. My poor husband. I know he dreads coming home because I still have two younger children, and by 6:30 pm, I am spent. Spent. I'm never happy. However, last night was OK. I needed some white wine for a recipe so I started drinking early.

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