|Mt Vesuvius of further effluvia: Filling the mudroom with a year of |
*With Harley, 15, I hadn't actually realised he had finished school a week ago. Yes, I thought it was funny he was sitting around watching TV all morning as well as all afternoon...but who knows? He's at private High School and let's face it, the more you pay the less they go. A neighbour strung out balloons and "End of Year!" signs and I sort of got the picture. Harley has always maintained a consistent "insouciance" when it comes to school work. Why do a whole bunch of work when B's are so round? His report card came through and I was delighted that he got two A's....in Religions of the World and PE. I guess if all the Gods are on your side and you run really fast you've got the bases covered.
"What about some improving academic courses over the summer?" I suggested optimistically to Harley.
Better not, he said explaining further: "Someone's got to go to community college."
*I turned up to Tallulah's (12) end of year party last night totally fried. "I'll look at your things and then we're going home" I said very grumpily, asking the teacher "This is just a ten minute thing right?" No it's an hour thing she said. It turned out to be an hour of the most heart-wrenching, tear-plopping poems and speeches and slide show. Of course I felt a complete asshole for being such a grump at the beginning and kept trying to catch the teacher's eye, mouthing "Thank You!" waving and smiling and laughing crazily.
*Cy, nine, ended the year with their traditional 'How-To"project. He told me last night his was "How To Make Rice Krispie Treats." My heart sank at the thought of all the cleaning up. But he knows me so well. We're buying them ready-made, he said.
|How to Make Rice Krispie Treats|
*Jackson, 13, is graduating today after being at his school for nine years. His older brother's jacket looks huge on him but I couldn't face taking him to buy another. "In the Eighties everyone wore their jackets like that" I said showing him pictures of A Flock of Seagulls "Start a cool trend!" Mum, he pleaded, I look like a clown.
There's a chance I could raise my "F" to a F+ though. On Saturday night we had our final school fundraiser of the year (for parents) at our house. Sunday morning I made the kids help me clean up.
"Cy!!!" I heard Tallulah scold her younger brother: "Carry that vodka bottle with two hands." Making end of year memories?
I don't what's funnier, Harley's sarcasm, or Cy knowing to buy pre-made. The great thing is you're such an A+ mother and your kids totally know it.ReplyDelete
Hope summer is being good to you!
xo Mary Jo
Thanks Mary Jo, I will show them your comment! I think Harley is being serious...LOL!!Delete
hahaha oh I love the B's being so roundReplyDelete
That is oh so profound
Buying them premade
So no need for a mess to fade
Way to go
And at least no one will drop the vodka bottle at your show
Yep...I'm with Mary Jo.......those kids look happy.ReplyDelete
Love it. Having just come back from Littleboy 1's heart-wrenching end of year writing project presentation - which we had to run out of to return our car to the lease center - am totally with you.ReplyDelete
I laughed all the way through. You make me almost nostalgic for those days.ReplyDelete
If "F" is for Fun you've earned an F+ !!!ReplyDelete
Now let's see you get an in studio spot on the Today Show like Jen Hatmaker did this week (or was it last week?).
First day of summer today for the new High School Senior. Her dad/my hubby called from a business trip and was surprised that she answered midmorning.
I hope I remember to pick up the 3rd year college boy at the airport on monday. Is it too late to overnight his only "Mommy misses you" care package?
Thought that counts.Delete
OK, Harley's comment about "someone has to go to community college" cracked me up.ReplyDelete
It seems you are busy, busy, busy. I don't know how you do it.
I think it is easy to get mixed up as we get older! And the vodka must be attended to as well. What do kids want these days, anyhow?ReplyDelete
Community college is not so bad, I attended on purpose.ReplyDelete
Your kids have the best answers and attitude, I'm certain you have a solid A on your report card for a mum.
Oh yes - we have the round B's excuse . What is it with boys? AIm low and you won't be disappointed. Ha. I'm with you on the rest. I teach at my kids school now which is a good thing as I now get to hear about the school events before they have happened :O X F = fabulous !ReplyDelete
I am just so amazed that end of year comes around so fast!I am sure all your kids are doing just fine:) Enjoy the summer holidays!ReplyDelete
Such a great read, Jody, from shop bought Rice Krispie treats to vodka bottles and 80s jackets (sleeves rolled up?).ReplyDelete
Thanks for making me laugh this morning.
I'd be happy if my son was getting Bs. He's the laziest sod and only works at the end of the year to ensure he goes through to the next year! I think he secretly hopes to get by on charm...ReplyDelete
Your kids have a great attitude and sense of humour. Precious things to have in the modern world.
Sarah - We have a handsome charmer (now 21 in 3rd year of college). Beginning in middle school I counseled him to always use his talent for good, never evil, as confidence is a talent.Delete
As he grew older gaining (some) emotional balance I wished aloud, "Praying you never suffer a disfiguring accident." This is best delivered in passing with a humorous lilt when you happen to catch them admiring their reflection!
I'm encouraged to know your son did actually get to college. I tell me son that charm is a plus (and a gift) but it should be used sparingly and not abused to avoid actually working. Challenges are fun I tell him (desperately). :)Delete
This post is the best....I love that you get yor Rice Krispy squares pre-made, cleaning burnt-on marshmallow from the pan is a bitch. Our son who is graduating this year brought home his yearbook this week, he had been voted "most sarcastic" by his classmates but also had the supreme honor of "best hair" as well, so proud.ReplyDelete
I just read an article about someone with "important hair" and how they've done so well (and they did even have the best sarcasm!)Delete
You taught them not to drop the vodka bottle and I hope they know how to serve and not spill your martini? You're bringing them up "right proper" as we say in Norfolk!ReplyDelete
I was friendly with the chaps in flock of seagulls back in my musical teen years....it was not a good look then and certainly not now, poor boy!ReplyDelete
What ever happened to them - must google them again. i had the dodgy long on one side and short on the other haircut at UniDelete
They still tour occasionally but I know one of them runs a newsagents in Liverpool selling mars bars etc!Delete
Loved this post. "if all the Gods are on your side and you run really fast you've got the bases covered." is your best line ever! Off to David's graduation I go. It will be worth sitting through two hours of it to see my parent's expressions to some "Skyline Oakland" exposure.ReplyDelete
Love to be there for that Xposhure!Delete
I think Mary Jo said it best. I'm sure your kids consider you their friend too, not only the best mum. xoReplyDelete
Totally LOL'd at this post...especially about buying the pre-made Rice Krispies squares at the last minute. Win-win, right? I'm all about the win-win.ReplyDelete
Top marks for RE and PE...hysterical!ReplyDelete
Ha! You are too hard on yourself--- at least you hosted the year end fundraiser! :) Plus you've taught your children valuable lessons about independence, not caring what others think, and you supported the economy.... yes, you are a first class mother!ReplyDelete
To be fair, if your kids have learned the importance of carrying a vodka bottle with two hands that's a good start. Vodka isn't cheap and those bottles break pretty easily on a hard tile floor. I say this because I've got a hard tile floor and several glass bottles of vodka that are calling my name all of a sudden.ReplyDelete
I think your a fantastic mother, these stories always make me laugh...your kids sound marvellous :)) xReplyDelete
Thanks - that makes me feel a little less guilty.ReplyDelete
Your kids sound great. And happy! So you've obviously been doing a hell of a lot of things right.ReplyDelete
Obviously you've taught your children the important skills of astute observation, sarcasm, efficiency and prioritization.ReplyDelete
I like your "article better". I'm going to do my part to get it to go viral. I'll start the forwarding now! Hope to see you on GMA very soon.
YOU ARE HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!Love the comment from the PRIVATE SCHOOL LAD!LOve it all actually!Enjoy them ENJOY them............as it all will come to a crashing end!I use to tear up on the last day of school.....even after my kids finished school!This year was the FIRST YEAR I DIDNOT!Maybe I have too much on my plate at the moment!CLosing shop or maybe its because they both have come back HOME!!!!!!!!!!I asked for a rating on dinner last night!I got a 6 an 8 and a no comment!I thought it was a 10 all the way around!!!To me looks like your doing a swell job!Daughter screaming to brother TWO HANDS and little one saying its okay MOM we can buy the RICE KRISPIE TREATS!Something is sinking in there.............BRAVA no F from ME!ReplyDelete
LC btw, You are closing your store?? I can't believe it! wait when did that happen. Anyway sounds like your boys are coming home and there is another twist and turn in your second phase!Delete
thank you for this. oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.ReplyDelete
I refused to take school events seriously because:
(1) look who I know who majored in Education.
(2) son TT's second grade teacher had him mixed up with another Tommy, and told me he should be in a special class for dyslexics.
(3) when the same TT got a perfect score on his PSAT's, I got a call from the Head, who indignantly wanted to know if I had had any previous knowledge that my child was smart.
(4) all 3 of my kids had French teachers who did not understand spoken French.
(5) look who I know who got MA's in Education.
yes I've never met someone who did five years of High School french that got past Jeniscomprenepar...pronounced just like that!Delete
I did the same for a jacket for my son his face at graduation was priceless. Bet your kids would give you an A plus and that's all that mattersReplyDelete
Thanks to your recommendation, I read Jen Hatmaker's account of worst end of year mom ever and just about keeled over laughing hysterically. So true. We've got just over a month to go and I'm not even limping. I'm practically horizontal.ReplyDelete
Just over a month?? What? I thought you broke up the same time as us??Delete
This is hysterical. I'm playing catch-up, but the dialogue about Harley...is hysterical. The more you pay...the less they go. Love it.ReplyDelete