Saturday, May 3, 2014

Mother.

A friend of mine was in foster care for much of his childhood, mostly in medium-sized institutional homes. "No one was mean to me" he says "They tried, but they just didn't have the time." You would imagine from this that he never sees his mother. In fact, he sees her quite often. On the street, in passing. His mother has been a drug addict since he was born and before.



Every now and again his mother will make promises: we'll make a new start, I'll get off this stuff, we'll live together and I'll be a mother to you like I never was. It might happen this time, he will say. And then it doesn't. He will sees her in the street the next week; she was not so bad today, she was bad today, she's okay. He keeps hoping.

Happy Mother's Day to all our mothers. To the mothers who were happy with what they did and we are too, to the mothers who worried they didn't do enough and did so much more. And to the mothers of those children who never stopped hoping.

33 comments:

  1. Dear ALW, you got us on two accounts here. Both me and Mr are the children who never stopped hoping. You just summed it up so beautifully, I had a little tear when I read this, but all for the better. Love this message. Xx

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  2. Lovely message! Is it Mother's Day this weekend in the US? I think it's next weekend here. Either that or we've forgotten it!
    Tried to watch your video in the last post but it won't work on my crappy device. Buggeration.

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    1. Yes tomorrow in the US and then i can't forget next weekend downunder for the ALW mama

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    2. Jody, it's next weekend! Please, you scared the hell out of me!

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    3. Shoot, one week early, that's a record for me. I knew NZ was next weekend, I thought we were this weekend (as you can see we never do anything for it). I wondered why no one else was posting Arrrgh! Thank you GSL! - I'm glad someone's on the ball here

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    4. Oh my gosh I panicked too.

      So glad it's not tomorrow. I did like this post. Wish all the moms who try, worry, stress and so much of their lives could know it's good enough. So wish for your friend he had a chance to be with his mom and feel loved.

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    5. Why all the different mothers' days? Ours is the fourth Sunday in Lent; others (to my ignorant eye) seem quite random. But I'd love to know why when

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    6. Me too, I should organise a protest outside Hallmark

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    7. Scared the daylights out of me too!
      Great post though!

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  3. There can always be hope, but reality should never be ignored either. Great message indeed

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  4. Ah, I love how you honor the mother who keeps trying and kids who keep hoping.

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  5. beautiful message, no matter what weekend. thank you.

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  6. I have sympathy for people lost to addiction but as the mother of an adopted child I think giving birth doesn't makes one a mother. I hope your friend has seen some gentle snippets of mothering here and there through his life be it from friends or kind strangers.
    Happy Mother's day a week early. I had a chuckle that you got the wrong date. My husband of 23 years and I recently realised the date we try so hard to remember but usually forget for our wedding anniversary was in fact the wrong day.

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    1. Thanks for dropping by my blog. I wasn't sure if you would see my reply so I am replying here. I gave up blogging because it wasn't a game for me. You, however have talent for presenting the ordinary of your life in wonderfully fun way and the wonderfulness of your life in a humble, ordinary way. I hope you never give up blogging because I always enjoy your posts. In fact I nonimate you own Ellen show.

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    2. Thanks - and I wish you'd get back to blogging!

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  7. Nice message Jodie.

    It is next weekend in NZ. My boy is in the UK at the moment, so no mother's day prezzy for my Beloved. I suppose I'll have to step in again.

    If anybody is watching Black City Lights play in the UK, please shout out "DON'T FORGET TO SEND YOUR MUM A CARD" at the end of a set.

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    1. Oh your son's an actor? very cool! My sister just reminded us all. She's the youngest but the most organised

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    2. No, he's a musician, Black City Lights is the name of his group. *hangs head in shame*

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    3. What does Black City Lights mena? derogatory about a Scottish city?

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  8. It was March 30th in Blighty.

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  9. Your friend sounds brave and beautiful

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  10. So well written Jody , I'm very close to someone who didn't experience being in care but kept hoping none the less, sadly nothing ever changed and that was so very hard to deal with in the end.
    Happy mothers day to all mothers out there, whatever day you celebrate it.

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  11. Hope springs eternal. My Mom has been gone for many years, she was a HEAVY smoker and of course it eventually killed her. Wish we'd been closer, but she held me away from the madness that was so often my family.

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  12. What a beautiful post. May we all continue to have hope. xo

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  13. Just been reading the comments and to confuse things even more, we celebrated Mother's Day on the 30th March in the UK but your message is perfect at any time of the year!

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  14. What a sad story. I hope your friend manages to find some acceptance eventually.

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  15. Lovely post, Jody. I lost my mother when I was 18, before I knew better how to be a better daughter.

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  16. What a strong friend you have! Happy Mother's Day to you, as well!

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  17. Happy early Mother's Day to you…..

    I am fortunate to have a wonderful mother who drives me only the right amount crazy. I hope I am the kind of mother my daughter needs-- both now and throughout the years….

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    1. Oh that's so well put Alexis. I only just appreciated how much mother had done when I had kids

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  18. That is your saddest post ever. Ugh, I can't even imagine. I just want to give your friend a big hug. I'm sure you do that.

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