I'm staying at the Carmel Valley Ranch
for four days (by myself) to finish off the third draft of the so-called novel. The Ranch is 500acres of oak trees, dewy, rested peeps and free s'mores fireside, which are probably crucial as Cy might say. I know, not really the starving artist thing. Here's some snaps from last time I went.
|Carmel Valley Ranch, adults' pool. S'mores are served poolside of an evening|
|Some people I don't know|
|Things I didn't do|
|Didn't sit here. This is one of those wall thingies you think you could do yourself but...|
|Didn't sit here either|
|Sat here. |
|Club sarnie for luncheon. Not starving|
|Nicoise salad. Still not starving|
|Beet salad. Still not...well you get the picture. |
|One of the best steaks I've ever tasted. That goopy sauce might have something to do with it|
|All the rooms have fires|
I wonder if they'll remember me from last time? The reason they would remember me is because of my love of beet, or beetroot as they call it in NZ. My husband can't even smell it or see it without feeling ill and this was my chance to fill up on it. I had juice with loads of beets and beet salad for lunch and with steak every evening.
Every morning I did a spin class which was located further down in the valley. I actually walked down the entry road rather than taking the hotel service car, though people looked at me like: what are you doing walking crazy woman.
The final morning after my spin class, I popped into the cafe to get my fresh juice drink. The young woman said they were out of all veges except for beets. I said Ok, just do beets then. She looked at me skeptically, but I thought it was because I looked particularly hideous after my class.
Five minutes later, she was still juicing. That's a lot of beets, I said. It is ...beets, she said. (Did I hear ten?
Anyway I walked back up the steep road to my room. It was a long upwards walk: past the golf course, sip of my juice, past the kids' pool, sip, past the beehives, sip, past the lavender gardens, sip. It was very hot. I was about 100 feet from the top and feeling very, very bad. It was very, very hot. A number of swanky automobiles drove past. Feeling very very queasy now. Then--Urk! Blurk! I leaned down into the nearest miniature olive tree--and barfed. Full on crimson projectile, the juice of ten beets and more.
A black escalade slowed down, then sped up, a yellow convertible slowed down, then sped up. They obviously thought I'd been on the turps the night before.
There was red everywhere: all over the ground, the olive tree, my t-shirt, my hair, my shoes. I pretty much crawled the remaining 100 feet to my room...past loads of people checking in: families, couples on romantic mini breaks, company bods doing team building. I looked like an extra from Apocolpyse Now.
Yes, think they'll remember me, don't you?
|A visual of my view during beetblurt|
YOU ARE TOO MUCH!ReplyDelete
Miss your CAPITAL styling'Delete
Ha ha ha ha. I love beetroot too and no one else in the family does. Not sure I've have been able to get that smoothie down in the first place though. Respect!ReplyDelete
Love your article in the Wall Street Journal, Great tips about having guests, well done you. We've never had a spare room (having said that Harley is gone now isn't he...)Delete
bloody hilarious! i say, do a repeat and then they're sure to remember you next time...ReplyDelete
I did try a salad this time, but no goDelete
Oh the Horror!!! I actually love beetroot! Roasted, that tinned vinegary stuff to put on burgers…it's Un-Australian not to! Your resort looks beautiful and soothing xReplyDelete
Love the vinegary stuff. In fact I love all tinned veges and esp peas. I am a child on the sixties!Delete
Haha that story is terrible and hilarious, poor you! Did you tell your hubs that story because he's definitely not eating beets now. I may not either as a matter of fact. XOReplyDelete
Sorry, Dani, have ruined it for everyone, beet prices due to plummet!Delete
Oh gosh. That's an experience. The hotel looks lovely. I can't stand beets but force myself to drink them as they are so healthy. Will exercise caution from now on...ReplyDelete
Probably ten not such a great ideaDelete
Too funny!! People don't believe me when I say I'm half Australian until I tell them my best hamburger had beetroot and a fried egg in it. If staying at the hotel is part of writing then I shall consider it too!ReplyDelete
Love that! Miss that! Also with grated carrot and frequently pineapple in NZ where approproDelete
This is why I don't believe in juicing anything.ReplyDelete
Good girl. One would never eat as many fruits and veges as they put in that juice and its all sugar, not the roughage part.Delete
Beetroot is hellishly messy.... Let alone going through what you did, you poor Loves. I have only ever done that involuntarily puke once....it was harrowing alright.ReplyDelete
But, DID you finish the third draft???
So lovely to hear from you. xx
My deadline is the 17th Dec so just looking for some more nonsense to set the cat amongst the chooks and whatnotDelete
Good to have you back! by the way we eat beetroot every Saturday here in Liverpool with our scouse.ReplyDelete
Scouse is a food??? Must away to googleDelete
It's stew! How did I not know that.Delete
It's very, very regional.Delete
Poor you! I think you and Blue Booby are on some kind of psychic connection!ReplyDelete
Oh God, I love beets, but what a memory you've planted.ReplyDelete
Sorry. I know, i still ordered a beet salad this time to see if I could do it. Could not.Delete
I love Carmel Valley Ranch. What a luxury checking in there alone! It's a beautiful spot. Sounds like they gave you way too much beet ..I think it's best mixed. Too funny of course there were cars when you were barfing... Murphy's law...ReplyDelete
I knew you would have been there.Delete
I only wish we'd known about it when the kids were little. It has a really lovely kids club and they do all sort of cool activities. Of course there are the free s'more in the evening 5-9 too
Oh dear, I think they may well remember you, and there's probably a note in your file that says 'HIDE ALL BEET'. :)ReplyDelete
I only like raw beetroot, but Chinese medicine says it's bad for osteoarthritis so I'm off it now. :(
That's interesting! Never heard that one.Have to tell my MumDelete
Ooh beetroot sandwiches with salt and pepper..so good. Yep Jody they just might remember the beetroot lady! How is the writing going?ReplyDelete
It went well, Libby thanksDelete
My husband knew everytime I ordered a new movie, which was a bit perturbing, but the last day I only watched one. There is a lot of hours in the day if you're just sitting in bed scribbling away...
As soon as I started readying your juice was all beetroot, I knew what was coming… up. Been there, done that, only it was over my husband. (I was wearing a white shirt and didn't get a drop on me!)ReplyDelete
Lovely to see you're back. Hope that third draft is the winner. :)
Welcome back to blog world, Jody. I've missed your sense of humor 'round here! Carmel Valley Ranch is a lovely spot for some alone time and writing--I can only imagine. Sorry about the whole beet root debacle. I'm guessing you will have all kinds of privacy at the resort now! ;)ReplyDelete
You would love it there Heather! So restful otherwise, without me blurping in the drivewayDelete
Yes! have been writing it (if you can call it that) for two years. Finally its taking some shape, but we will see. Set in Oakland and Ohope beach, thriller comic if there is such a genreDelete