Friday, December 4, 2015

Snazzy Work-Out Pants

Have you been getting into those snazzy new work-out pants? They are very appealing--I mean, who wouldn't want to have fleurs, astral whanots and moons and stripes on their bum?  But what do they really look like in real life?

Gisele. Yeah, she looks good in them, but that's her job, innit?
Mel B looks awesome in them. But she's got a fabulous  bum...maybe a pre-requisite?
Lily Collins: Think wearing a covering top like this looks more flattering.
Thigh-gap. Disqualified from the survey
At the knee works better, and horizontal stripes or chevrons, counterintuitively, seem more flattering
Billie Faiers and Ferne McCann. No idea who they are, but they have more normal-looking thighs. Lefty looks best. Righty pattern is very, er, directional

When I was at the Carmel Valley Ranch last time, I tried some on. Prepare yourself emotionally.

Puts a shine on everything that doesn't need it. (Oh my eyes! My eyes!)
Gah! Make every part of you look enormous, the top part looks ghastly, you would have to wear very covering top
Again sparing you the top view, which is horrifying.

In the interests of good journalism, this time I stayed at the Ranch I tried on some more pairs. (I know, I am nothing if not thorough).

Even the butterfly looks scared. (Oh please no! The vastness of the sky! The hugeness of the clouds!)
Sparing you the top part again. (Please, I beg of you - no more!)
(Okay you're doing one more.) Did a murky side view because the front was so awful.

What have we got so far pour moi on snazzy pants? Flattering? No (But everybody still wants to wear them so will keep crazily searching...) Shiny? No, and I say a thousand times no. Astral? Best not. Pattern? Better as an insert, rather than all over.

But that's just me. What have you gathered from your research?

(And by the way, have you seen this hilarious video by three Australian women about doing just about everything in your activewear  except being active?)





27 comments:

  1. Oh God, those are made for 6 foot tall stick insects, I'm 5 ft on a good day and we won't even talk about me bum.

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    Replies
    1. Even in the models in the catalogue, they tend to look wide

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  2. Thigh-gap used to be called bowlegged and that it still how I consider it!

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  3. They are rather ugly aren't they? And yes, unless you're teeny, they're just gonna make you look huge. I'll be giving them a miss.

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    Replies
    1. Haha! loved your Expat piece in the Wall Street Journal today about the hols

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  4. Very funny the vid. Love it.
    The active wear looks fine on the right people, and not so fine... on everyone else. I am firmly in the not so fine group. Unless I had a long, bum-covering tee-shirt. That might work. Might.

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  5. Replies
    1. No-ho-ho-ho! (Santa Claus belly laughs in background)

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  6. All the ladies at the yoga studio I attend wear them but I stick to black, grey and one very daring salt and pepper print.

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    Replies
    1. I'll be doing that too, but keeping salt and pepper from rising up into my hair, tricky with downward facing dogs.

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  7. The spandex seems to be all the rage among some. Certainly not flattering on everybody. Maybe flattering on some but certainly not the large majority. In time, this too, will pass. Regarding the spandex, I will stay fashionably unfashionable. Susan

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    Replies
    1. Hi Susan, yes I will stick to matte black.

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  8. No way. I do quite a bit of walking. My pants are matt black velour. Winter and Summer. Topped with long-sleeved nylon sportswear top. I am terrified to be noticed when I am out and about, huffing and puffing up hills. Each to their own said the lady kissing the cow. Xx

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    Replies
    1. I know i just want to blend in with the gravel path..

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  9. My research has revealed that I should stick to my Lululemon grove pants or the crops with slits, ALL black. :)

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    Replies
    1. You know,, I think light colors are trouble. I even gave away some plain grey ones to my sister, they were so unflattering. She is taller with better bum.
      I do need the Darth Vadar look to keep the eyes roving upwards.

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  10. Hmmm.... I think I'm going to stick to my black pants, but I might just try a pair on the next time I'm out shopping for new ones. I think Trina Turk is coming out with a line of exercise pants and I just love her designs so I might just give them a try. You would look great in anything so I think you should absolutely go for it! Maybe an incentive for me to work out a bit harder! Absolutely loved that you tube exercise video!!! So true!!

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    Replies
    1. Nordstroms have some in stripes so might give those a dance maybe...

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  11. luff that active wear video (showing off my baby in my active wear!)

    I exercise really hard to be this fat and I don't think I could pull those pants off emotionally, physically or spiritually x

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  12. The video is hilarious. My pants are black and white , patterned, tapering at ankles. Very comfy, very useful .

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  13. very colorful. Are they just for the young?

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    Replies
    1. One would think. Though actually i have seen some looking good on women at the gym, might be a state of mind

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  14. I'm not brave enough to embrace the vivid print in my activewear leggings. Currently living in black and marle grey pairs by Lorna Jane.

    I might even branch out into the styles with mesh inserts in the new year...

    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete

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