Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Turning 54...and other WhiskyTangoFoxtrot moments.

I turned 54 recently. I have long learned to accept the wondrous zoo that your body turns into; the elephant knees, crows feet, turkey neck and so on. But what I didn't realize is the mind also works harder to "challenge" you with added blessings, which is jolly fun.

By night: wearing my stretchy dress out for an early bird special. 

By day, a veritable Label Queen: nasal cleanser, magnesium and probiotics, extra strength for the over 50's, for  consternation and constipation, neck warmer for head pain, mouthguard for excessive grinding, old lady glasses, face goop from latest Jar of Hope

Anyone who reads this blog regularly might remember that back in October I woke up with tinnitus (ringing in the ears) which is, yes, as crazy-making as it sounds. Although as one friend pointed out, at least it blocks out some of the kids' whining. Tinnitus is one of those things where no one knows how it started, whether it will ever end, and has no cure.

Then a couple of months ago I started getting shooting pains in my head which progressed from only at night to all the time.

Turned out I had Primary Stabbing Headaches ("relatively uncommon"...no common as muck illnesses for me, no siree!) also called "Occipital Neuralgia" and the more playful "Jabs and Jolts Syndrome" and my personal favorite, "Ice Pick Headaches" which kind of gives them a Sharon Stone allure, don't you think?

Me visiting Neurologist's office:

Me: Where did this pain come from, how long will I have it, how can I stop it?

Neurologist: (sheepishly) We don't really know. None of that is known.

Me: So it's like tinnitus in that way?

Neurologist: And if you take aspirin or ibuprofen for the head pain it can make the tinnitus worse. (Reads the research coming out of the printer.) But there is one daily pill you can take, only a few side effects. (I later look it up in the internet and it has six pages of side effects including that you can self combust).

Me: So this is like tinnitus: it's like my head is making shite stuff up. (Starts laughing)

Neurologist: (Trying to be professional but laughing too.) Yes, I suppose, if you put it that way.

Me: (Still laughing, can't stop for some reason) Well thank you for everything.

So if you see a woman on the street laughing uncontrollably at something inappropriate, that would be me, just another gift from old age.

55 comments:

  1. Did anyone "feel" your thyroid? My sister had headaches every day for seven years and saw every neuro specializing in headaches in the Bay Area. No help. Finally, she went to an endocrinologist who felt her throat and said her thyroid was enlarged and pressing on her carotid artery. Prescribed some thyroid medication and no more headaches. He said he tells the neuros about this all the time but they don't listen.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Linda,
    Yes someone else was suggesting that the other day. Must action that.
    I have had some relief taking the max dose of Melatonin, 12 mg,every night (I don't think they really know why it works, one of the compounds in it has some effect, though I'm not sure what the downside of taking melatonin every night is??)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Jody I'm sort to hear...my old business partner had a form of neuralgia but can't remember which type but I remember her doing an anti inflammation diet BC if her nerves were inflamed it would touch places in the brain which would cause migraine plus she stayed away from chocolate. I hope you can sort this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi there Naomi, Thanks for this..

      Actually I don't have a sweet tooth so never eat chocolate, but I am seeing a person about stuff I should not be eating. I am sure she will rule out the booze (don't they always???)

      Delete
  4. Jody, Jody, another chairlift topic for women's camp next year. Titinnus suggestions...melatonin (5 mg), zinc .........http://dremilykane.com/2002/05/10/top-five-remedies-for-tinnitus/, B6. Happy birthday from a big Jody fan!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Carol!!

      Heading now to health store for that zinc and B6, etc. thanks for this, it all helps, adn will try it all.
      Went to chiropractor for the first time in my life, a really hippy holistic one and she cracked my back and neck (terrifying!) laughed then cried and then felt a bit better. Going back on Friday, am giving everything a go! (also started pilates --my instructor said I am the only person in the free world who has never done pilates! and did cranial therapy!!)

      Delete
  5. Ugh, I can't remember not having tinnitus and it drives me mad. However, just having had back surgery that will have to wait.... Old age stinks!

    ReplyDelete
  6. The ringing crap sucks a ton, had it bad at my sea, did some ozone ivs and poof, gone for the most part. Comes sometimes if I lie down the wrong way, but other than that, gone.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I stopped counting the years a while back...for the best I think haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought you were the same age as me?

      Delete
    2. Close but the toll of northern English weather is pretty evident on me!, summer in California will I hope give me a little boost..ha!

      Delete
  8. This is terrible. First the ear ringing but the ice pick headaches, I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
    Don't have any advice re supplements except to say that I take melatonin more often than not and it seems fine. But my husband had tinnitus for a couple of months when he was under extreme stress. Once the stressful situations resolved (it was a pile on of shite at the time, various things) the tinnitus went away and has not returned.
    The thing about it is that it seemed to be caused by stress and then caused more stress, the constant ringing was so aggravating for the poor guy. So I feel for you and yes try everything that can't harm, go see all the doctors... hope it resolves soon Darling. XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Dani, stress does weird stuff to us!

      Delete
  9. Right now I'll take aging over the alternative. I suddenly have a sharp stabbing pain in my right eyeball. Google says it is dry eyes. Karma's a bitch because I used to make fun of those Restasis commercials. Sigh, as long as anal leakage is not a side effect I'll give it a go. I hear that eventually comes with age too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh lord, if it's not one thing it's another. You have the right attitude and I am with BB - I'll take it over the alternative!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm telling you this getting older is not for the faint hearted. I finally managed to lose a bit of weight and then the one half of a thyroid that I have shut down and or course I put the weight back on instantly, got tingling in my hands, had no energy and knew the end was near.
    So loads more thyroid medicine, pinched a nerve in my neck which increased my tingling, probiotics increased and who knows what's next.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi there, So sorry to hear about this! MnJ!
      My friend said she woke up and had a sharp pain in her big toe, apropo of absolutely nothing.

      Delete
  12. Thanks you for putting such a positive and humorous spin on growing older and wiser and better!

    By the way, you look at least ten years younger than 54!

    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SSG: its the i-phone photo, always pleasingly blurry

      Delete
  13. Well Happy Birthday to you! As for the health woes... I'm now feeling a little sheepish that I was complaining about how annoying all my grey hairs are because they are like antenna amongst the normal ones. Then again I've lived with mild tinnitus for about 20 years, and will likely go profoundly deaf (as my Dad did in the space of 1 day 3 years ago... he now has a cochlear implant) when I reach old age so there is clearly much to look forward to.
    Glad you're laughing about it, even if the stabbing headaches and ringing are so irritating/ painful.
    Also have to add you certainly don't look your age, even if you feel it! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Heidi,
      An old friend remarked that he'd never seen me so blonde. its because I have a huge parting stripe in the front that is so grey, and I'm always trying to cover it up.
      Wish I was one of those people who look good in grey hair, but they'll be wresting the bleach from my dying hands. I do not go gently into the night.

      Delete
    2. Heidi, So sorry to hear also about your Dad, that is scary. It's a lot for him to deal with

      Delete
  14. Amazing wonders of growing up and older and its consequences. Sometimes hard to understand & treat. Do you think eventually some of them will fade away?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes hopefully! (Or get worse as I age, haha)

      Delete
    2. HI there, no sure if my comment on your blog went through keeps disappearing?

      Delete
  15. Belated happy birthday Jody. This getting older malarkey is not for cissies is it? but you do still look fabulous x

    ReplyDelete
  16. Fellow tinnitus sufferer but I seem to be able to ignore it most of the time now - easier said than done. Sorry to hear about the headaches but you seem to be trying all sorts of remedies so let's hope something works.
    Ps - you look bloody lovely in that blue dress x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have to say writing at the computer makes it go away.
      Thank you on the stretchy dress, its a Nicole Miller from last year which hide a myriad of sins with its pin tucking and whatnot

      Delete
  17. I have no tips for you as tinnitus is something i get very rarely and headaches also. I am the same age as you. Delightful isn't it but it gets worse, so I'm told. I get joint pain, that's my bugbear. Also difficulty losing weight, partly as I can't do aerobic exercise due to the joint pain. Roll on 64.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Anna,
      I started doing spin in last couple of months and all the pesky new blobs just rolled off. One friend lost 30 lbs, it's also a huge stress buster. (I wear headphones to half the noise) Having said that, all the team of people now working on getting my back and shoulders into shape say its the worst thing I could do. There is a good cycling position, neck in, tummy button pressed to your back, bum back, but the holistic doctor says I'm probably not doing it. (It's one thing to be told, another to do it, as I should already knowing from being a MUm)

      Delete
  18. Oh the joys of it. I've gone completely blind (well not really but I can't read my damned phone in any of my glasses including the ever-glamorous trifocals.) I hope that they are able to find a cure for the headaches and ringing that will not cause you to self-combust (I remember a spoof ad years ago that warned that side effects included 'growing the head of a golden retriever...') Yes, some days all you can do is laugh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least a golden retriever is a nice looking dog, wouldn't mind that too much, lol.
      i used to be so proud of my vision, now can't see a cocktail menu, (yes! that's how bad it is)

      Delete
  19. Ooh nasty re tinnitus but you're in glamorous company because don't most rock stars have it too?

    I've never done pilates either, you can tell your prof. I do do yoga however. As for stuff on face, I found a company in the Cevennes that makes very natural products using herbs and the like locally, and I take a teaspoon of bourrage oil to hydrate from the inside out (also produced in the Cevennes).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just did my second session today...word is out I don't have a core, how have I gotten around in the world without out it, goodness knows. Anyway, I love it despite that i thought it would be really boring. Part of it that I love lying down and a lot of it is supine.

      Delete
    2. Yes and re the rocker thing, my friend just remarked in email, didn't remember me as much of a rocker in my day

      Delete
  20. I didn't have any of these afflictions … until I read your post and the comments and now I'm pretty sure I've got them all due to my raging hypochondria.

    Happy belated birthday! Lovely to see you back here and you look incredible! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jane,
      That's hilarious, I am loving your post today about cafe and tea with your daughter.

      Delete
  21. Oh, so sorry-- hope these improve ASAP! I can attest that with passing years-- up to 62 now--the arrival of new aches/pains/lines/gut changes does not abate. MLane and I review most mornings, darling, are you asymptomatic this fine day? This is to be hoped for, asymptomatic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HI there,
      That has a sweetness to it!are you asymptomatic this fine day?
      Actually since you are asking I feel better this morning, more chiro tomorrow, I think one more click.

      Delete
  22. Sorry for your stabbing pain. I hope all of this is temporary. I find I get some of these if I drive with the window down (and I drive a lot, and everywhere). I use the hair dryer to blow warm air in my ear and it seems to go away.

    Recently I took some pain relief (forgot what it was for, but I usually never take anything) and went deaf for an entire day. That was a bit scary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! That's funny! Im always telling the kids to wind up the windows as it creates a vacuum and hurts my ears, but maybe the thing is to wind the window down next to me.
      Will try the hair drying thing.
      That's interesting about your pain relief, It's funny how pain relief does not sit well with ear stuff.

      Delete
  23. I think I can BEAT YOU with THE ACHES & PAINS........and NO Those PRACTICING MEDICS NEVER HAVE AN ANSWER AFTER 50!!!!!!!!!
    YOU STILL LOOK GREAT...............if that HELPS!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great! I will call you.
      I am making the rounds of alternative Oakland at the moment and am getting some relief!

      Delete
  24. Self combustion sounds quite a high risk side effect to me, but maybe if tinnitus & headaches had been driving me nuts I'd take the gamble...

    ReplyDelete
  25. You may not feel good, but you look fab! We are now exactly the same age, though I will move on to 55 in July. Happy belated birthday, Jody. The health stuff is so annoying. Sorry to hear you've been caught in potential self-combustion situation. I thought that was just a bad hot flash...this sounds more painful. Hoping you find some relief soon. Have you tried acupuncture?
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  26. I have the ear ringing all the time. 54??? Please lord let me age as well as you.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hope you feel much better, looking great. Warm greetings!

    ReplyDelete
  28. The good news is that even at my advanced age - 86 - suddenly frightening symptoms can just disappear. With me it works if I get totally absorbed with something and then suddenly realise the problem has disappeared. I hope it works for you too. Basically you look strong and healthy and that counts for such a lot. Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Belated happy birthday! The rest of your post just sucks...hope things get better, sometime!!!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...