Yes, have any of you seen my snowboard? Not the one below - that's a rental. I lost my snowboard - who knows where and when...But searching for it this weekend at Alpine Meadows in Tahoe was a pivotal moment. My memory has officially; careened down the mountain, dived under 6ft of snow and rocketed into some long-forgotten locker where I'm sure my snowboard also resides...
It wasn't just that I had lost my snowboard, which I've had for eight years. It was that I couldn't recall what it looked like. Or when I last saw it.
The patient woman at Lost and Found asked me: What colour was it?
Me: Think yellow? Could have had some pink in it! Tropical looking...or is that my swimsuit? No that's my swimsuit.
Lost and Found: What brand?
Me: Hard to say...now was it pink?
Lost and Found: Did you have your name on it?
Me: Definitely - Yes! Yes! No! Oh hang on... am I thinking of my skis? You know what, my skis are pink, I don't think my board has any pink in it. Neither have my name on them.
After a little more of this, I lined up to rent a board for the weekend.
Rental dude: So how high was your board?
Me: No idea
Rental dude: What kind of bindings?
Rental dude: What foot do you have forward - are you regular (left foot) or goofy (right foot)?
After eight years of snowboarding I couldn't remember what foot I have forward!
We guessed (regular) and then he started to give me what looked like a beginners' board.
"But, I'm not...." I was about to say I'm not a beginner - but what's the point.
What is totally tragic is that I can remember the most obscure, tiny, embarrassingly useless pieces of gossip and fact about celebrities. Angie? At age 14 she dreamed of being a funeral director, shortly after starred in Meat Loaf music vid. Second child Pax didn't understand why you should wear underwear when they first adopted him. Snooki? (And I have never seen Jersey Shore) Adopted from Chile, named after guy from Save The Last Dance, mean cheerleader at high school who at one stage weighed 80lbs, she and her friends all had that hairstyle but she was the only one who kept it...oh please, please stop my Dr Jekyll memory!
Have you had one of those - what did my snowboard look like - moments lately?