Monday, February 7, 2011

Super Bowl: What The Dog Heard

Robi, the Hungarian Vizla and I had something in common while watching the Super Bowl yesterday at a friends' cabin in Tahoe, California. What the dog heard, I heard too...

This is what Robi the dog and I heard: "The Senders packed Lombardy into MC Hammer's fumble bumble bee, six not out and down and out of town of Polomalu!!! "

Robi was pretty bored by it all - spending his time stretching and yawning and creating gastric havoc throughout the room - but I found it fascinating which is surprising given that I usually loathe watching sports whether live or on TV.  Obviously not tainted by a yearning for purity of the game,  I am never averse to mixing sports, advertising, low-culture and all-out full-on pageantry. Loved the cornucopia of The Black Eyed Peas (even though it sounded like karaoke - where was the background music?) the dancing neon people and the fireworks.

Then Christina Aguilera fluffing her lines and over-emoting. Yes we know C. has her hands full with twins and living with both ex-husband and new boyfriend but surely she could have set aside a few minutes that morning to learn the National Anthem off-by-heart, as my kids would say? Usually you learn it at school here in America but, fair dues, she was too busy being a Disney Mouseketeer to go to school.   C - learn your lines while applying your red lippy. 100 million viewers will be happier. Perfect!

I thought initially Kim Ka$h in her Skechers ad making not terribly esoteric suggestions and flaunting all her bodily bits was a bit much for Prime Time TV but compared to Christina she was a vortex of professionalism.

Timothy Hutton was in another ad for Groupon, a group discount company, whose infamy now threatens to replace his Oscar-status. Timothy Hutton - yes, whatever happened to him? He was truly stunning as Conrad in Ordinary People, at 20 years old the youngest male ever to win an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. Now I know too he was married to the wonderful Debra Winger, latterly of "Whatever Happened to Debra Winger?" Despite his talent he will be forever known for Groupon-gate, making fun of the China-Tibet conflict in the name of good-tasting fish.

There were many sightings of mens' enormous thighs, made larger by being clad in lycra - a lesson to us all about the hugening powers of lycra. I am observing this in a social anthropological sense. No wonder football is so stop and start -  those thighs have to have time to around each other.

There was also much butter-fingering of the ball as my old netball coach, Sister Anna, would have said. Honestly I can't catch the ball either, but nobody's paying me loads of dosh to do it. So, people were paid many $100,000's for: not learning their lines, singing karaoke and being total butter fingers. Super Bowl man -  come to my house next year. I will do all three for less. Plus, I could be one of those dancing neon people if you're got odd numbers.

But the real key to enjoying the game was skiing through the lead-up. For my readers outside the USA, the Super Bowl starts whirring and winding at 9am with loads of discussions, interviews, musings. But the game doesn't actually start until 3pm! All of which explains why people start drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon beers and eating Cheez'n'Whip'n'Cream'n'Carb concoctions at 8am in the morning.

We opted to ski during this time which ensured the slopes were deserted. The hot spring conditions combined with Super Bowl silliness produced some funky funky outfits on the snow, not least from my husband who donned a Swanndri, a bottle-green thingy worn by Kiwi farmers in the high country and bush-bound hunters. The kids howled with embarrassment when they saw him: "Pleeease don't wear that, Dad! Please!!!" We had just stuck duct tape on Cy's helmet so really rocking that pioneer vibe.

What made you smile on Super Bowl Sunday?


  1. Looks like a fabulous weekend!

    I loved the Audi commercial, personally. And the highlight of my Super Bowl viewing was getting laundry done!

    Hopefully next year my Eagles will be in it... and it will be better than Christmas!

  2. Yay for skiing! I'm going on Friday with some friends for the first time in about 10 years - I can't wait!

  3. Sadly, it is all true. Astute reflections on our absurdity.

    Growing up during the heyday of the Oakland Raiders (now, themselves, the definition of absurd), while my parents hosted "Crush the Orange Crush" playoff parties (which, for those youngsters and non-US based fans, referred to the Denver Broncos in the 70's), drinking bloody mary's beginning VERY early, it all seems it should be.

    Except the part about seven to nine figure salaries. And I am not even talking about Fergie, who really can't sing, or Willie Colon (who the heck is that? Right tackle for the Steelers). But Roseanne Barr? Yikes.

  4. Yes and I had just read an article the other day that Roseanne Barr was living in Hawaii and had taken herself off the grid forever...not so it seems.

  5. Jody- My husband made a nice batch of fairly healthy snacks, and I watched a few commercials, then I hung curtains with powertools as the game played. THAT made me smile!


  6. Well, I wasn't skiing in Tahoe (!) but I was at the Four Seasons Hampshire (press trip). Only one mention of the SuperBowl when I saw a guest with a Chargers cap and asked hubby who won the superbowl was and he said it was this weekend. How quickly one forgets!

  7. A few commercials did make me smile, but otherwise I did not watch the Superbowl because I really can't stand football, so I understand what you mean! Instead, I went shopping :)

  8. I wallpapered the inside of my son's closet during the super bowl! I turned on the news to get the scoop on who won so it didn't look like I live under a rock on Monday AM when the topic of Superbowl came up!

  9. I get to go skiing at the end of the month - I can't wait and your pictures are making me more impatient. It looks so much fun!

    You make me laugh. Yes, if Christina Aguilera had spent 1/20 of her time learning the lyrics as she did spackling on her makeup she probably would've been fine.


  10. Love your blog and your words. My stepdaughters knew right away that Christina Aguilera messed up! Didn't enjoy the black eye peas singing but the neon kids were cool! :)

  11. means nothing to us here in New Zealand - though I loved this blog, this is more what I want to read, your take on Americana. And the dogs.... keep the dog in.... did the dog have anything to say on the navy blue issue?

  12. this was great, so spot on, and from someone who did not even grow up with it! It can be fun, Superbowl Sunday I suppose..but whatever. Reading your post after was much more fun!

  13. i just know how to ski
    want to learn snowboard :)
    great photos

  14. so smart that you went skiing while everyone was cooped up inside for the superbowl! cute pics :)


  15. Your analysis of the Super Bowl was too funny! I tend to notice more of the fashion than the game when I watch, too.

  16. omg the black eyed peas sounded HORRID. and your pup, what a looker!

  17. I'm loving this post more than you know. My dad and brother were hardcore sports fans and superbowl sunday was one of those lost days--meaning life came to a stop during this tedium. When I was old enough, these parties translated into rooms full of handsome men who are busy popping food into their mouths and yelling at the television. I will never understand it personally...but the skiing looks like loads of fun!

    xo Mary Jo

  18. Loved your SB recap. Very entertaining.

    I'm still recovering from our party! I didn't watch much of the game, but what made me smile was all of the grilled pizzas... and more importantly, that I won the pool!! An unexpected surprise :).

  19. Hey! Have you ever noticed, have your writting skills upgraded so far?


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