Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Oscars for all my friends!

Do you agree the Oscars seemed to be about rewarding performances that elevated otherwise pretty average movies? Except for Bret McKenzie in The Muppet Movie, both were awesome. (Slight bias from a Kiwi here...)

Bret McKenzie on the red carpet Photo: Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

I don't know of anyone who saw Tree of Life and didn't end up doing their utility bills by the light of their  iPhone. Same with Iron Lady despite Meryl Streep's ever-charming shrugs, head turns and enigmatic smiles. The only resonating scene from The Descendants was George trotting in his flip-flops around the corner to friends. My Week With Marilyn: great ensemble cast but a slight movie... Michelle Williams is a sweetie pie and captured the spirit of the tortured star, but distractingly, looked nothing like her.


I can't pretend I watched any of the Oscars, some All-Star game was on the same time, so now you know the master of the remote in our house is an eight year old boy called Cy.

But I did take the opportunity to hand out a few of my own awards during the weekend.

The Descendants Award for best Dad on the island:
While I was in Berlin and London Kevin looked after the kids for 10 days without any help - and ran a business at the same time. His email to me in London: "We miss you as a mother and wife but also as an eligible driver." I arrived home and he didn't seem too crazy...

The Midnight In Paris (Dali) Award for best line:
Man Ray: A man in love with a woman from a different era. I see a photograph!
Luis Buñuel: I see a film!
Gil: I see insurmountable problem!
Salvador Dalí: I see rhinoceros! 

I arrived home from London to find 10 packets of beef jerky in the cupboard. Anyone who doesn't know what this is: it's dried beef in plastic which does not need refrigeration. There is nothing about any of those words that should be together in one sentence. I immediately went to throw it out. Kevin said: "Don't touch that - I just joined the Jerky of the Month Club and that's my first shipment." Retract above.

The Hugo Award for winding us up all the time:
Cy, eight, says the f-bomb three times and is video taped by his brothers, Harley, 14 and Jackson, 12. As explanation for his cussing Cy said:  "They took a bite out of my peanut butter sandwich while I went to the bathroom." Fair enough? Just don't put that tape on YouTube, I said to Harley and Jackson. (Good parenting, right?)

The Iron Lady Award for services to motherhood:
For an hour yesterday I heard loud piercing screams coming from outside. Not wanting to be a helicopter parent I paid them no mind and went back to my random online viewing of red shoes. Eventually I glanced outside to see that all three boys had take off their shirts and were batting each other really hard with ping pong balls. All of them were totally covered with red welts in the shape of balls. What an inventive game, kids! (Sometimes it's just all worthwhile...)

The Descendants Award for being comatose throughout:
This last week I have been sleeping morning noon and night, jet-lagged, discombobulated and not knowing whether I am Arthur or Martha. But George, I could be revived. (Oh Jody ...BeHave!)

The Artist Award for maintaining silence when needed:
No recipients this year.

Any award giving in your weekend?


  1. 10 days with no help. I'm amazed! He definitely deserves an award for that.
    And I agree, that scene with Clooney running with his slippers (that's what they call flip-flops there) was just about the most exciting part in that sleepy movie.

  2. Award-giving? No. Award-receiving? No. Another weekend of just being an ol' Bear. Which is perfectly OK.

    Though I must admit you gave out some interesting awards. Well done, Jody.

  3. Funny. The email Kevin sent was great. Congrats to him on 10 days alone, the thought gives me chills :)

    The only nominated film I saw was The Help. Wait, was it nominated?

  4. My favorite award is for Kevin and his beef jerky of the month club! I was super underwhelmed by the Oscars!

    xoMary Jo

  5. Still laughing at the Iron Lady's ability to persist in random online viewing of red shoes despite all other distractions...
    I'm going to work on that one...

    1. I have been punished though...those red shoes are following me around the internet..

  6. I see rhinoceros! ha-ha-ha never heard that joke before.
    -How many surrealists does it take to screw a light bulb?


  7. i love the awards you gave out! i watched the oscars to root for one of my favorite actresses (meryl streep!) and of course to check out what the stars wore on the red carpet. ;) i didn't really watch the nominated movies but i liked reading your take on them. :D

    p.s. thanks for letting me know about the photos on my recent post! i was able to fix them. hopefully, everyone can see them now. :)

    <3, Mimi

  8. Oh my! I love you so much! "I don't know of anyone who saw Tree of Life and didn't end up doing their utility bills by the light of their iPhone." I love me some witty friends.

    I agree with you on everything. I wonder what's happening. I used to be the type of person who would take the Oscar buzz as a good lead for a movie being good but now is like... Blockbuster does the job.

  9. Very sweet Oscars post! Your family stories are so fun! xo style, she wrote

  10. I haven't seen The Artist but now I'm so intrigued!

  11. My wife saw several of the movies-The Iron Lady, Midnight in Paris, Help. Together, we saw Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. The Artist and Hugo look like must see movies.
    I like your review of the weekend awards. Some of the ladies had beautiful attire-simple and elegant.

  12. Love your awards,even though I didn't like Midnight in Paris that much!

    Have a beautiful Spring, honey!


  13. Bret McKenzie on the red carpet was priceless. And I truly cannot say enough good things about Michelle Williams - love her! :)

  14. funny...we didn't really watch but for a minute and both my husband and I were talking about Maryl Streep and although she is a GREAT actress, at the OScards they talk about her as if she is the greatest movie star of all time..what aren't we seeing? Or maybe we didn't see those performances from her....I always flash to Momma Mia movie remake and have to laugh..brutal.

  15. Brilliant :) I have long gone off watching the Oscars. To try hard and somehow meaningless. To be fair, I am not much of a film person. Give me a book though, any time!

  16. I was in Disney world so I missed it...apparently not much!

  17. And you get the award for the most original Oscars inspired post ever (but I can't think of amovie to go with the award!). I love this--you are so original!!!

  18. I love this post! So creative! And your family cracks me up! :) Glad you had a great trip. Hope the jetlag is wearing off! That's always tough to get over!

  19. Hahahaha! I only saw Moneyball...it was pretty good. Maybe I should watch the other nominated films so that I can judge the performances too.


  20. This is the best post! I loved "Midnight in Paris," which, aside from "Bridesmaids," was the only Oscar contender we watched this year. The Dali exchange was hilarious (love Adrian Brody). I also loved Hemmingway's "Who wants to fight?!" :)

  21. Haha I loved this! I have to agree that I thought the majority of the movies this year were on the average side. I did enjoy the Artist though and the Descendents. But best picture worthy? No, not so much. My Week with Marilyn. Totally agree with your take. I was pretty distracted how unlike Marilyn she looked! Ah, on to next year.... :) xoxo

  22. i love Clooney but I'm happy that an unknown won because of his acting and not because of his name...

  23. I love this post!! What a great idea to compare your life to the movie titles! LOL about coming home to beef jerky...doesnt it seem like our husbands buy crazy things when we are not around and always in bulk!!

    I didnt see most of these movies yet, the only one I saw was The Help...did you see it?

    Im glad your husband got to see how much even just the driving around is appreciated! I only have two kids, but sometimes when there are so many activities in one day it feels like I have 10!

    PS...thank you for the lovely comment about my photo :)

  24. OMG I laughed so much reading this and read it out loud to hubby. Award for best blog post I've read in ages most certainly goes to you, luv!

  25. Don't you just hate it when you view tasty things on t'internet and they pop up on the home page all the time, shouting 'Your wife has spent hours drooling over these!"

    Jerky of the month. You just have to laugh at that.


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