I've been wanting to write you for some time. I have a great husband, I love my two kids (a boy, 4, a girl, 2) and my job is usually pretty rewarding. But here's the thing - nothing is that much fun anymore. Everything feels like work! You have four kids and you always seem to be having a blast - what am I missing here? (D. SoCal, please change my name, my husband sometimes reads your blog too).
|Not real life...|
|Real Life: weird parcels at the door and resigning yourself to buying the crap peanut and jelly|
A blog is not real life. Real life is hard, boring and annoying. (Even when you have three Ryan Gosling movies in your cue.) You're in the most demanding phase physically... rest assured that does get easier. In the meantime, routine is the key - it's actually better for the kids because they have some certainty in their lives.
*I have one word that will save you: babysitters. (You thought I was going to say "devotion" or "kale" didn't you?) Knowing a babysitter was going to turn up every Wed and Sat at 5pm to do the bed bath and beyond put a zip in my step all through the week.
If you can afford it, you should see it as in investment in your future. I hear a lot of people complain about the cost of babysitters (and sometimes it's people who've just bought a swanky new car) but it's the best money you'll ever spend.
If you can’t afford it and you don't have relatives around to help, try to do a deal with the neighbours where you take turns. It’s actually better for the kids when the parents are happy.
*We rarely went on vacation without some sort of kid's club. I know not everyone can afford this either - can you figure out some sort of way to get a break on vacation? Otherwise vacation can actually be worse than being at home.
*We continued the Contented Little Baby sleep regime for years which ensured the kids went to bed at 7pm allowing you an evening to decompress.
*Don't feel guilty about a night out because you're working outside the home - there are still hours and hours a week to spend with your kids.
As Charlotte from Sex In The City said: "Am I happy? Yes. Not all day, but once a day." I think that's all we can ask for.
What advice would you give D?