My name is Teddy the Maltese puppy. I'm three months old, pretty young to be writing one's memoirs, but so much has happened I feel it's justified.
|Me with some of the "characters"|
I arrived here house a month ago - the Cast of Characters...
The High Schooler:
Runs me around outside when he's not researching The Scores from his position on the couch. Sometimes his friends come around to play ping pong and one of them says: "Dude, you are useless!" and they fall about guffawing in what is known as the Beavis and Butthead laugh. Then one of them says: "Dude, you're useless - and you're ugly!" and this cracks them up even more. Apparently in this world High School boys insult each other and it doesn't mean anything...and High School girls compliment each other and it doesn't mean anything.
The Tall Girl:
Just had her 11th birthday with her 15 of her closest friends which explains why I looked a bit tired and ragged in those photos. It was exhausting to dance, make lanyards and throw water balloons for three hours. Tall Girl spends a lot of time on the phone to friends she's just seen, doing capital letters and singing to songs with capital letters... TTYLXOX.
The Quiet Redhead:
Plays with me a lot. He doesn't say much, but he has a lot to text, maybe he's writing a book too.
The Short One:
Before I moved here, "Mr Cutie" as his mother calls him, reigned supreme. He runs around flat tack with a huge smile on his face...when he's not howling on the floor with tiredness. Who's the Mr Cutie now though? Bring it on kid - let the games begin!
|My first bath|
|Me with The Short One|
The Nice Dad:
Smiles and nods a lot and says a particular phrase quite often.
Dad: Oh you've dyed your hair a bit red - very nice.
Mum: Red? No, it's more of an apricot.
Dad: (Suspects he's said the wrong thing and tries to head her off at the pass) Oh and you've got an new apricot jacket.
Mum: No, she said, it's more of a nude - does it look apricot?
Dad: (quickly)Your first instincts are right on this.
|Me and the BHYK Mum and her "apricot' hair and "nude" jacket|
The BloodyHellYouKids Mum:
She didn't want me: Nothing else in the house that poops, she said. Now she brags to anyone who will listen how amazingly intelligent I am. I just saw her emailing her book club: "I won't be bringing Teddy to the next meeting, but if there is a dog who could read and write - it's Teddy!" You'll be writing my blog soon, she tells me.
Can you imagine thinking a dog could write a blog post? The apricots have gone to her brain.
(If a small critter came to live with you, what would they say?)